When Good Dog Shows Go Fox
by Dreamchasereternity
Summary: Autumn and Flash enter a dog show for money in order to by a trained warhamster. The only problem is...they don't have a dog! They turn to Kurama for help. (I wanted a summary that screamed 'Read this story, you nitwit' and now it has.) R
1. World Domination Weekly

Dream: Hello and welcome to my newest humor fanfic of DOOM!

Zero: If you value your sanity, I suggest you leave now and find a different fanfic to read.

Dream: Ignore him; he's just grumpy because he needs to be taken to the vet for his rabies shots.

Zero: WHAT?! I'm not an animal! I don't need rabies shots!!!

Dream: Suuuure, you don't. Anyway, this lovely little package of funny goodness is a fanfic I've been meaning to write for a while. It probably won't be all that long but that's ok because I have plenty of other humorous fanfic ideas for afterwards.

Zero: Why the sudden burst of humor fics?

Dream: Because, sadly, school is going to be starting soon and I want to be able to lift everyone's spirits. That's why I'm going to be bringing back Anime Idiots Convention, but shh...You aren't supposed to know about that!

Zero: Well, I suppose I'll tell you the basics of the story. The main pairings of the fanfic are Autumn/Kurama and Hiei/Flash. The romance will probably be kept to a minimal since the main focus of the story is the humor.

Dream: Yu Yu Hakusho and its characters belong to Yoshihiro Togashi. Flash and Lioness belong to Winter –iel –o burzum. Hinote and Vladimir belong to EternalBlackNight. All other characters and the story idea belong to me unless otherwise noted.

Zero: Now that that's out of the way, get started with the story. The sooner you start it the sooner it'll be over.

Dream: Okee dokee artichokee!

* * *

**World Domination Weekly**:

It was a warm, sunny, summer day in New York. Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, and Kurama had decided to go to the beach, taking their local friends with them. Well, actually, Yusuke and Kuwabara had decided it. They then hogtied Hiei and stuffed him in a sack while Kurama contacted Flash, Autumn, and Hinote to see if they wanted to go. Now the four boys were waiting patiently for the girls and Hinote to arrive. Except Hiei, he was struggling and kicking in the sack that Kuwabara had over his shoulder.

Yusuke was wearing a white t-shirt and blue jeans. Kuwabara had on his blue school uniform. Kurama was wearing his white Chinese outfit. People passing by gave Kuwabara strange looks.

"What's with them?" Kuwabara asked.

"Perhaps it's the moving bag that you're holding?" Kurama suggested.

Yusuke rolled his eyes and shouted at the staring people, "Oh, come on! It's not like you people haven't seen someone being kidnapped and dragged to the beach before!"

The staring people quickly cleared out of the area. Kurama sighed, "Must you scare everyone away like that, Yusuke?"

"I don't think it was Yusuke that scared everyone away." Kuwabara said as he pointed at three approaching figures.

There were two girls and one boy. One of the girls had dark brown hair that went to just below her shoulders and long dark brown bangs that covered her eyes at some points. Her eyes were greyish blue. She was wearing a long black T-shirt that said 'I survived the blackout of 2003' on it in white letters. She was also wearing black shorts and was wearing her blue and yellow sandals on her hands. She stood a bit shorter than Kurama. On her head she wore a black headband that had two black cat ears on it and around her neck there was a blue dog collar with a leash attached.

The other girl was holding the end of the leash. She was about Hiei's height. She had silver bangs and long black hair that was layered and went past her chest. Her golden eyes were hidden behind some sunglasses she had taken from some random person without them realizing it. She was wearing a black tank top, black shorts, and black sandals. She blew a bubble with the gum she was chewing as she let the girl with the ears lead her around.

Following behind them was a boy that was about Yusuke's height. He had curly and messy brown hair that was being hidden under a dark blue Yankees baseball cap. He was wearing khaki pants and a black 'Pirates of the Caribbean' T-shirt that had a pirate skeleton on it and blue behind it. He was wearing black steel toed boots.

The girl on the leash let out a yip when she saw the boys. She then ran forward, causing the leash to fly out of the other girl's hand, and launched herself at Kurama. Kurama, being used to this kind of greeting, absently put out his arms and caught her.

"Hello Autumn." Kurama smiled.

Autumn was hugging Kurama happily while yipping like a puppy. Yusuke pointed at the ears, "What's with the cat ears and why are you barking like a dog while wearing them?"

Autumn growled and bit Yusuke's finger. Yusuke yelped and pulled his hand back, "SHE BIT ME!!!"

"You'll get used to it." The other boy said as he and the black haired girl walked up to them.

Kurama nodded to them in greeting, "Hello Hinote. Flash."

"Hey." The girl, Flash, responded as she bent down and picked up the end of Autumn's leash.

Yusuke was holding his injured hand, "You really need to keep that girl on a leash!!!"

Everyone stared at Yusuke and then stared at the leash that was attached to Autumn's collar. They then stared back at Yusuke and responded in unison, "That doesn't help."

"Hey, where's Hiei?" Hinote asked.

A muffled sound came from the sack and there was a kick. Autumn blinked, "I think he's in that sack."

"WHAT?!" Flash yelled. She glared at Kuwabara, "Hinote, can I borrow one of your steel toed boots."

"Uh...sure..." Hinote took off a boot and handed it to her.

Everyone watched her take the boot and put it on one of her feet. Once it was tied she hobbled over to Kuwabara and kicked him between the legs as hard as possible with the steel toe of the boot. Kurama, Yusuke, and Hinote instinctively flinched in pain as they watched the boot toe connect with its target. Kuwabara dropped Hiei and fell to the ground, curled up and whimpering in pain. Autumn took the collar off. Flash took off the boot and handed it back to Hinote.

"Thanks." Flash said.

"You're welcome." Hinote squeaked in a really high-pitched voice as if he'd been the one she'd kicked.

Flash walked over and dumped the contents of the sack onto the ground. Hiei was lying there in his black pants with two white belts and blue tank top tied up. She untied him and he quickly stood up and glared at Yusuke. Kurama sighed and regained his composure, "Shall we go to the water?"

"There's a tropical storm causing a really bad riptide, nobody's allowed to swim." Hinote pointed out.

Yusuke shrugged, "I'm sure we can find other things to do."

"That's why I brought....A shovel!" Autumn grinned as she held up a shovel she had brought.

"Let's bury Kurama!" Hinote suggested.

Kurama shook his head furiously, "No! I don't want to get sand in my hair!"

"Too late." Flash stated as she dumped a bucket of sand over his head.

Yusuke, Hinote, and Autumn started laughing. Hiei smirked. Kurama turned slowly to glare at Flash who was smiling innocently with a shining halo over her head. The halo started making electric buzz noises and flickering. It then went out and fell to the ground.

"Damn it..." Flash glared at the halo.

"Well we could always just go stick our feet in the water." Yusuke suggested.

Autumn nodded and grinned, "Last one to the water has to put sunscreen on Kuwabara's back!"

That said, everyone took off running as fast as possible. Kuwabara was still lying on the ground in a fetal position while whimpering. Hiei was the first to reach the water. Then Kurama, followed by Flash and Autumn. Hinote tripped Yusuke and then ran ahead as Yusuke cursed at him. Hinote was whistling when he reached the others. Yusuke glared at them all as he walked up.

"There's no way I'm putting sunscreen on Kuwabara's back." Yusuke said.

"Relax. We're not even going to let Kuwabara take off his shirt. We value our eyes too much." Flash pointed out.

Kurama pointed at an empty spot in the sand, "Let's put our stuff down over there."

"Autumn, quit holding that shovel like you're going to kill someone with it and let's start digging a hole to bury someone in." Hinote suggested.

Yusuke grinned and took the shovel from Autumn. He started digging. Autumn tackled him to the ground to try and get the shovel. Hinote shrugged and also started trying to get the shovel. Kurama and Hiei sweat dropped as they watched. Flash took out a metal detector and started walking by the many sunbathing people while holding it above them to see if they had anything valuable.

"Never a dull moment when they're around..." Kurama sighed as he gathered everyone's stuff and moved it to the spot he had pointed at before.

Hiei nodded and followed. A moment later Kuwabara walked up to Hiei and Kurama, "What's everyone fighting over?"

"OW! MY HEAD!" Yusuke yelled as he held his head in pain after Autumn hit him with the shovel.

Autumn stuck her tongue out at him, "That's what you get for taking my shovel!"

Hinote whistled innocently before grabbing the shovel and running away. Autumn looked at her empty hands, at Hinote, hissed, and started chasing him, "HINOTE!!! YOU ARE SO DEAD!"

Flash came back to the group holding a couple wallets, a gold watch, some lady's silver bracelet, some earrings, regular rings, and some random person's gold tooth. She was whistling happily as she dropped the stuff in her bag. She looked up and saw Kurama frowning at her. She looked around to see if there was someone else he could be frowning at before she looked back at him.

"Something wrong, fox boy?" asked Flash.

Kurama narrowed his eyes, "You know stealing is wrong."

"Oh, is this going to turn into the 'Flash, we're in the human world now, and we have to abide by human laws' speech? Because if it is can you wait until I have a pillow and am in a comfortable sleeping position?"

Kurama glared as Yusuke and Kuwabara started laughing. Hiei smirked, "She has a point. Your speeches do seem to make everyone fall asleep."

Yusuke and Kuwabara nodded in agreement. Kurama sulked. Hinote ran by the group with tears in his clothes, missing a shoe, and screaming something about being attacked. A flock of seagulls followed immediately after him. Autumn was running after the seagulls laughing insanely.

"FEEL THE WRATH OF THE HELLBIRDS OF DOOM!!!" Autumn yelled as she chased the gulls while holding Hinote's boot in one hand and her shovel in the other. She dropped both next to Kurama and ran off again.

Everyone nearby was staring at Hinote, Autumn, and the seagulls. The strangers then turned their stares to Kurama, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, and Flash. Flash laughed nervously, "We don't know them..."

Autumn and Hinote suddenly appeared on either side of Flash, "Yes you do!"

"Gah!" Flash yelled as they both hugged her. Hinote then got up and started running from the gulls again while Autumn sat next to Kurama.

Yusuke picked up the shovel and started digging a hole, "Autumn, I'm borrowing your shovel. Ok? Thanks."

"Hey...that looks an awful lot like the shovel I st... err..._borrowed_ from the little neighbor boy down the street..." Autumn said as she pointed at the shovel Yusuke was holding.

Kurama glared at Autumn, "You know you're not supposed to steal from your neighbors."

"Kurama, I'm hurt that you would think that I _stole _it! I asked if I could borrow it just like a good little girl." Autumn nodded.

Hiei scoffed, "I find that extremely hard to believe."

"Probably because it's not true." Flash pointed out.

"It is! Ok, so maybe it's not...but I did leave them a note saying I was borrowing it!" Autumn looked around at everyone's accusing stares, "Ok, so I didn't leave a note...but I did hogtie the mailman, put him in a shovel costume and leave him in their garage where the shovel had been!"

Everyone nodded, knowing that that was the truth. Hinote suddenly ran by screaming, tripped, and fell in the hole Yusuke had just finished digging. Yusuke blinked a couple times before starting to fill in the hole while Hinote was lying in it. The hell-gulls flocked to nearby the hole. Autumn waved her arm.

"That's enough for now. Thanks a bunch you guys!" Autumn smiled at the gulls and threw them a piece of bread.

The gulls attacked the bread. Randomly some guy wearing a yellow raincoat and a yellow rain hat in a little dinghy rowed by on the beach. Everyone stared at him. He lifted his hat, "Good afternoon!"

"Why are you rowing over the sand...?" Flash asked.

"Haven't you heard? There's going to be a flood of epic proportions and it's going to kill everyone. That's why I'm bringing two of every species with me in my boat. See? I've got plenty of different creatures with me." The man lifted up a bunch of Popsicle sticks that had animal faces drawn on them.

"Cool! A lion!" Kuwabara said as he pointed at a Popsicle stick that had a poorly drawn lion on it.

"That's an insult to my kind." Flash glared at the man.

Hiei raised an eyebrow, "I hate to be the one to ruin your foolish little world of idiocy, but those aren't animals and there isn't going to be a 'flood of epic proportions'."

"Believe what you will, but when you're all dead and I'm still alive you won't be laughing!" The man responded.

"Well, of course not. We'll be dead." Kuwabara stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The man in the rowboat started rowing away, "Just you wait! Once the rain starts it won't clear up until everyone's dead!"

As if on cue, the skies darkened and rain started pouring from the clouds. Autumn laughed and twirled in the rain. Kurama gathered his and her stuff before grabbing her and dragging her toward shelter. Hiei had to do the same with Flash. Yusuke and Kuwabara gathered up the rest of their stuff and followed the others. They left the beach and went to a small café not too far away.

They all sat down at a table and Autumn looked around, "I can't help but think we forgot something..."

**Back at the beach:**

Hinote was buried up to the head in the sand. He looked around, "Hello? Guys? Where is everybody?! I'm trapped! HELP!"

Some random hobo walked up and looked down at Hinote. Hinote stared at the hobo. They stared at each other for a moment before the hobo reached down, took Hinote's hat, and walked away. Hinote started struggling to get free of his sandy prison.

"MY HAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!! COME BACK!!!!"

**At the café:**

"It's probably not important." Flash said as she sat down in a cushioned chair next to the chair Hiei was sitting in after getting a magazine called 'World Domination Weekly'.

Yusuke stared at her from a chair across the small coffee table, "World Domination Weekly?"

"Yup." Flash stated without looking up.

"It's the magazine she got her metal detector from." Hiei said before taking a sip of the hot chocolate he had gotten.

Yusuke exchanged looks with Kuwabara who was sitting on his left in a chair next to Hiei's. Kurama chuckled slightly from his seat on the small couch that was on Flash's right, "I wasn't aware they made magazines like that."

Autumn was sitting next to Kurama on the couch and licking the whipped cream from the top of her hot chocolate. She licked some off her lips and grinned, "That's because it comes with a cover pasted over the real cover that says it's 'Highly Educational Smart Things That _Don't _Involve World Domination Weekly'."

"Ah. How clever. No one would ever suspect a magazine with that title to be talking about world domination." said Kurama sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

Autumn and Flash smiled and nodded. Flash then went back to her magazine. Kurama went back to the tea he had ordered. Yusuke and Kuwabara ordered themselves some burgers and fries. Flash was a regular at the café so the waitress knew to keep bringing coffee every time Flash ran out.

Autumn and Kurama started talking quietly to each other. Yusuke and Kuwabara were too busy stuffing their faces to say anything to each other except for the occasional 'that was _my_ fry, you idiot!' or 'pass the ketchup'. Hiei was wondering how long it would take before someone realized that they had left Hinote back at the beach buried in the sand.

Flash suddenly gasped, "HOLY HELL!!!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Flash. She showed them an ad in the magazine. It had a picture of a light brown hamster with a Mohawk wearing a tiny army jacket and holding a mini bazooka gun. The war-hamster had black paint stripes on its cheeks as it glared at the camera with its beady black eyes.

"'Now you can have the war-hamster army you've always wanted! Highly trained mini-minions willing and able to fulfill your every command! From taking over the world to vaporizing your homework, these hamsters can do it all! All this can be yours for one payment of $7,000!'" Autumn read aloud.

Flash grinned and hugged the magazine, "My fantasy has finally become a reality! I can finally have mini-minions!"

"You've already got a mini-minion. He's sitting right there." Yusuke pointed at Hiei.

Hiei growled, "If you hadn't taken my sword away when you tied me up, you would be dead right now."

"Flash, I hate to ruin your good mood, but how are you going to pay that amount of money?" Kurama, being reasonable, asked.

Flash looked around at everyone, "Empty your pockets."

Hiei took out some money he had collected by doing odd jobs for Flash's parents. Kurama put down some of his money that he wasn't going to be using to pay for his food. Yusuke put down about $2 and a bottle cap. Kuwabara put some lint on the table. Autumn put a mini-yo-yo, an acorn, a leaf, a seagull feather, a shiny new quarter, and a small chipmunk. The chipmunk sat there staring at everyone for a moment before running away.

"No! Chippy!" Autumn called after the chipmunk.

Yusuke stared at her blankly, "Why was there a chipmunk in your pocket?"

Autumn shrugged. Flash counted up everything on the table, "Ok, so with this and the stuff I picked up at the beach today we have about $27...so all we need now is $6,973 more and then I get my mini-minion!"

"Where are we going to get that kind of money? It's not like it'll just fly up and hit us in the face!" Yusuke rolled his eyes before a piece of paper flew up and covered his face. He screamed, "AAAAH! It's attacking me!!!"

Autumn took the paper and read it, "'Does your dog have what it takes to be a superstar? Uncle Chuck's, the company that brought you 'Uncle Chuck's motor oil' and 'Uncle Chuck's baby formula' now brings you 'Uncle Chuck's paper bag lunches for dogs'! To honor this glorious event, Uncle Chuck's will be holding a professional dog show to determine which talented pooch will appear in the advertisements of this product. Winner gets $6,973.'"

"Wow, what are the odds that the prize money would be the exact amount that you need." Kuwabara blinked.

Autumn and Flash gave each other a high-five and announced at the same time, "We are so going to win this dog show!"

"But you two don't have a dog." Kurama pointed out.

Autumn and Flash looked at Kurama and smirked. He looked back and forth between them and gulped, "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

* * *

Dream: So there you have it! The first chapter of my new humor fanfic in all its glory! I hoped you liked it. I'll get the next chapter up as soon as possible.

Zero: Review please.

Dream: GASP! Zero, you said _please_!

Zero: ...and...?

Dream: Maybe you really do need to be taken to the vet...


	2. Café Murder Mystery, part 1

Dream: Hello and welcome to the second chapter of _When Good Dog Shows Go Fox_! I was surprised (and very happy) when I found out about how many reviews chapter 1 got. I find it flattering that so many people like the story so far. I'll try to update as often as I can. (Most likely a lot since Winter and Eternal know where I live)

Zero: Refer back to chapter one for the disclaimer, I don't want to say it again.

Dream: My laziness must be contagious! Zero caught it too!

Zero: I'm not lazy; I just hate saying the disclaimer.

Dream: Hey, maybe all these things that you say that you hate doing is really you being too lazy to do them! GASP! I KNEW YOU LIKED TO DANCE BALLET IN A PINK LEOTARD WITH MATCHING TUTU!!!

Zero: WHAAAAAAT?!

Dream: You can't deny it, Zero! I know you dance ballet and now everyone else knows it too! ::dances around singing:: Zero dances ballet! Zero dances ballet!

Zero: GAH! STOP SAYING THAT!!!! ::chases Dream around:: I'm going to kill you!!!

* * *

_Last time_:

"But you two don't have a dog." Kurama pointed out.

Autumn and Flash looked at Kurama and smirked. He looked back and forth between them and gulped, "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

_Now_:

**Café Murder Mystery, part 1**:

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!" Kurama yelled at the two girls in front of him.

Autumn pouted, "Come on, Kura-chan! It'll be fun!"

"Then why don't you do it?!" Kurama snapped.

"Do you really want some strange judge man putting his hands all over Harmony?" Autumn asked.

Kurama growled and crossed his arms, "But why can't you just get a real dog? Surely someone you know has a dog!"

"Hmm..." Autumn and Flash zoned off into the realm of thought.

**In Autumn's head:**

A chibi Kurama in a panda costume was tap-dancing while holding a cane in one hand and a top hat in the other. Then a chibi Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, and Flash appeared, also in panda costumes with top hats and canes. All the chibi characters were tap dancing. Suddenly chibi Flash bashed chibi Kuwabara over the head with her cane. Chibi Kuwabara fell down with swirls for eyes. All the chibi panda characters stared at chibi Kuwabara. After a moment they all started tap dancing again.

**In Flash's head:**

Chibi Flash was sitting on a large pile of gold, wallets, money, and other valuables. She had little war hamster minions standing at the base of her treasure pile. In front of the treasure chibi versions of everyone she knew were groveling and holding out offerings. Flash looked at the offering that chibi Kuwabara had brought before pulling a rope that fell from the ceiling. Almost instantly chibi Kuwabara fell through a hole in the floor. His screams echoed up from the hole followed by a large splash and more screaming along with crunch noises. Chibi Flash started laughing insanely.

**Back in the realm of reality:**

Autumn and Flash were laughing evilly. Kurama snapped his fingers in front of their faces to wake them up. They both suddenly snapped out of it and shook their heads. Autumn blinked, "What was the question again?"

"Don't you know someone that has a dog you can use for the dog show?" Kurama asked.

Flash shook her head, "Nope, if we did it would ruin the plot of the story and we'd need a new title."

"Oh, well in that case, my answer is still no." Kurama stated sternly.

Yusuke, who had been watching quietly with Hiei and Kuwabara, whistled dramatically as he looked outside, "Wow, the rain's really coming down out there! I wouldn't be surprised if we wind up stuck here until morning."

"There's no way I'm spending an entire night stuck in this small building with you idiots." Hiei growled as he looked around at his friends.

Kurama sighed, "You'll just have to accept it Hiei. From the looks of things, you'll have no choice."

"It looks so cool out there! Such pretty lightning..." Autumn was kneeling on the couch with her face pressed against the window and her hands on either side of her face, blocking the caf's light so that she could see outside clearly.

Yusuke and Kuwabara stood next to the couch and mimicked Autumn so that they could also look outside. Flash rolled her eyes, "It's not like you guys haven't seen lightning before."

"But it's really stormy out there! Maybe that guy was right...We're all DOOMED!!!" Autumn announced happily.

Kuwabara screamed, "WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!! We're going to be trapped here for who knows how long without any food or soda!!!"

Everyone sweat dropped and looked around them. Kurama sighed, "First of all Kuwabara, you should be more concerned about having water than having soda since it's quite possible to survive without soda..."

"No it's not." Yusuke and Kuwabara said at the same time.

"...Yes it is...Anyway, that's beside the point. If you take a look around you, Kuwabara, you will notice that we are in a café. This basically means that we'll have food and _water_ until the rain lets up." Kurama nodded.

Autumn waved her arms, "But the rubber ducky man said that the rain won't stop until everyone dies!"

"The rubber ducky man...?" Kurama raised an eyebrow.

Flash took out a thick, black, book titled 'The Book of Autumn' and flipped through the pages. She stopped when she found the page she wanted and held it out to Kurama while pointing at a specific paragraph. He took it and read the paragraph aloud.

"Article XV: Any and all things that are yellow and float, whether they be floating on their own or with the use of boat and whether they be animal, human, demon, alien, spork, or inanimate, will henceforth be referred to as 'rubber ducky' since that is obviously what it must be. i.e.: Some random man in a yellow raincoat and yellow rain hat rowing around in a dinghy must obviously be a rubber ducky since he is yellow and floats. This man would then be called 'rubber ducky man'."

Autumn crossed her arms and nodded. Kurama handed the book back to Flash. Yusuke sweat dropped, "The Book of Autumn?"

"I thought she should come with an instruction manual." Flash shrugged.

"Anyway, as I was saying...According to the rubber ducky man the rain isn't going to stop until everyone on the face of the Earth is dead!" Autumn started waving her arms again.

"That's absurd." said a mysterious voice from behind a newspaper that was being held by someone sitting at a round table in the middle of the room. Everyone in the café turned to look at the table.

"Gasp! The newspaper is talking to us!" Autumn announced and pointed at the newspaper.

The newspaper was folded and put down on the table to reveal...a plain and ordinary looking man! He had combed and orderly black hair. He had plain looking glasses and looked to be in his mid-thirties. He was wearing a dark grey suit with a white shirt underneath and a black and white checkerboard tie. He was also wearing black office shoes.

"Hey, I know you!" Autumn said as she pointed at the man, "You're that guy that used to live next door!"

The man pushed his glasses up on his nose, "Why, yes, yes I am."

"_Used_ to live next door? You mean he moved away?" Kuwabara asked.

Autumn nodded, "Yeah, he just randomly left one day without a word to anyone about where he was going."

"That's rude." Kurama said to the man.

"Not when your neighbor on one side of your house is a crazy teenager that kidnaps clowns and talks to foxes that have more than one tail and your neighbors on the other side of your house are out of control toddlers that hang their parents upside down from trees." The man responded.

"Yeah, I would probably leave without a word too." Yusuke nodded.

Autumn looked thoughtful, "I don't remember having a person on our block that kidnaps clowns...Unless, of course, you mean me...which would make sense since I lived in the house next to yours...but that's just too logical..."

"Well, my former neighbor's idiotic statement aside, I'd like to point out that this rain is supposed to end by noon tomorrow." The man rested his arms on the table and clasped his hands together in a sophisticated manner.

Autumn walked over and glared at her former neighbor with her hands on her hips as she leaned over the table slightly, "How can you question the unquestionable might and wisdom of the rubber ducky?! If the rubber ducky man says it's not going to stop raining until everyone is dead, then it's not going to stop raining until everyone is dead! Do not question the duck of rubber!"

The man turned to Yusuke, "This is exactly why I moved."

"What you need is a copy of....The Book of Autumn! It's full of important and informative information having to do with the crazy antics and nicknames that make Autumn so loveable! No one should be without this extremely useful guidebook! For a limited time only, you can get this essential book of facts for only $6,973!" Flash held out The Book of Autumn while grinning.

The man shook his head, "That's a ridiculous price for a book."

"Well, what if I throw in..." Flash looked around for something, snatched the fork off of some random plate that still had food on it and held it out, "...this vintage fork!"

"It's old and used." Yusuke pointed out.

"It's _vintage_, you uneducated pig-dog!" Flash yelled and hit Yusuke on the head with The Book of Autumn.

Kurama sighed and said to the man, "Please forgive Flash, she's trying to raise money in order to buy something she really wants. Perhaps we should introduce ourselves? I'm sure you already know Autumn. I'm Shuichi, that's Flash, the boy she hit on the head with the book is Yusuke, the boy with orange hair is Kuwabara, and the little one over there is Hiei."

"Kurama..." growled Hiei.

"Kurama?" The man asked.

Kurama laughed nervously, "People call me that sometimes."

"Ah. Well, my name is Norman Smith." The man said as he stood up and bowed to them. He then sat down again.

"Norman Smith? That's a stu..." Autumn's statement was interrupted by Kurama putting his hand over her mouth.

The waitress girl walked over and refilled Flash's coffee. She was a girl with mousy brown hair and large brown eyes behind round glasses. She was wearing a dark green dress with a matching apron that had the café logo on it. She was just about Kurama's height. She seemed to be in her late teens. The white nametag that was pinned to her apron said 'Pip'.

Pip looked around at all of the customers in the café. There were the regulars, Flash and Autumn along with their Japanese friends that seemed to be around a lot. Then there were those that only came every once in a while, such as Mr. Smith and a man in his early twenties that she had never known the name of.

He was always dressed in a crimson, gentlemanly suit with matching crimson shoes. He also had a crimson cape draped around his shoulders and a crimson top hat, resembling that of a magician, resting on the table next to his coffee. Underneath the crimson jacket was a white shirt and he had a black bowtie. His hair was short, messy, and light fawn-colored. His grey eyes were regarding the other customers with curiosity.

"So, where do you live now, Random Neighbor Man?" Autumn asked her former neighbor.

The man sighed, "One, I am no longer your neighbor. Two, I told you my name is Norman Smith. Three, I moved to get away from you, so I'm not going to tell you where I live now."

"New Jersey? Ok, got it. I'll send you a postcard sometime, Random Neighbor Man." Autumn wrote it down on a napkin and then stuffed it in her pocket.

Everyone sweat dropped. Autumn looked around, "What?"

The man in the crimson suit started laughing. He put on his top hat and walked up to Autumn, "You know kid, I like your spirit. You're one of those people that don't let anything get them down. The world needs more people like you."

"Eh...?" Autumn blinked as he made a light blue colored rose appear in his hand and handed it to her.

Kurama frowned and glared at the man. He moved to stand behind Autumn and put a hand on her shoulder as he glared, "Who are you?"

"Kurama's jealous." snickered Yusuke.

"Call me Loki." The man took the hat off his head and held it behind him as he bowed. Three pure white doves flew out from behind him.

Autumn smiled as she watched the doves, "Oh! Like the Norse god of discord and mischief?"

"Why yes. My mother always said that from the moment I was born she knew I'd be a master trickster." Loki smirked and snapped his fingers. The doves vanished in a puff of smoke. Some feathers floated to the ground. Once they landed they were white flower petals.

"Whoa, how did you do that?" Kuwabara asked as he and the others stared at the flower petals.

Random Neighbor Man pushed the glasses up on his nose, "I should've guessed that someone with such a showy getup was an illusionist."

"Yeah, seriously, who in their right mind wears a red suit?" Yusuke rolled his eyes.

"It's _crimson_, you dolt!" Loki yelled as he pointed at Yusuke. A second later Yusuke turned into a little gray mouse.

Everyone stared at the Yusuke mouse. Flash grinned and looked at Hiei while pointing at Loki with her thumb, "I like this guy. Can we keep him?"

"Please, no turning people into animals in my grandmother's café..." Pip pointed at the mouse.

Loki bowed in apology and snapped his fingers. Yusuke became a person again. He shivered, "I never want to do that again...I had this constant fear that Autumn, Flash, and Kurama were going to eat me and I had a really strong craving for cheese. In fact...I still do...Where's the cheese?"

"Oh...We don't have cheese right now. We should be getting some tomorrow morning." Pip responded.

Yusuke twitched, "No ...cheese?! What kind of world is this where a guy that just got turned into a mouse for a minute can't get even one freaking piece of cheese?! You _will_ hear from my lawyer!"

"You have a lawyer?" Autumn raised an eyebrow.

Yusuke looked at Flash. Flash shrugged, "I convinced Yusuke and Kuwabara to sign legal documents naming me as their official lawyer. Of course, neither of them read the fine print that states that I have the right to take 99.9% of the winnings and the right to change their wills at anytime to benefit myself."

"Oh...You're a lawyer?" Autumn asked.

Flash shrugged again, "The official certificate of lawyer-ness that I earned online by answering simple non-law related questions says I am."

Random Neighbor Man shook his head, "Kids these days. When I was a teenager, I had to work three jobs in order to support my seven siblings. I never once considered conning someone out of their hard-earned money."

"But Yusuke's money is probably stolen anyway..." Autumn pointed out.

"Yeah, that's true." Yusuke shrugged.

Kurama looked at Yusuke with wide eyes, "Yusuke! I'm disappointed in you! You should no better than to..."

Kurama's speech was interrupted by the lights going out. Everyone's attention was drawn to the door as they heard it open. Lightning flashed in the background. Against the bright light from the lightning a figure was seen. The figure had one hand holding the door open and in his other hand there was some sort of weapon.

Autumn screamed, "The man in the moon has come to get revenge on me for stealing all his cheese!!!"

The lights turned back on to reveal a soaked and sandy Hinote standing in the doorway holding a shovel. Everyone let out the breath they hadn't realized they were holding. Hinote was panting as if he'd run the entire way there. He was glaring at everyone with his normally hazel eyes that were currently flecked with gold. Now, if any of them had been paying attention to his eyes they would have realized that Hinote was being controlled by his vampire counterpart, Vladimir, but that would ruin the plot of the chapter, so nobody noticed.

"Hinote? What were you doing outside in this weather?" Kurama asked.

Hiei scoffed, "And here I thought you were smart, Kurama. We left him back at the beach buried in the sand."

"What?! Why didn't you say something earlier?" Kurama yelled.

Hiei shrugged, "I wanted to see how long it would take for someone to realize it."

"Hey Hinote, you missed all the food." Kuwabara announced.

The lights turned out briefly. There was a shuffling sound and the door closed. There was then a clunk, thud, and more shuffling. The lights then turned back on. Everyone's attention was drawn to Kuwabara. He was lying on the floor with a shovel bent over his head. Kurama gasped and kneeled down to tend to Kuwabara.

"What happened?!" Pip gasped.

Autumn pointed at the shovel, "Hey! Maybe that shovel that looks suspiciously like the one that Hinote was holding before the lights went out and doesn't seem to be holding anymore is a clue!"

Hiei stared at Autumn as if she was the stupidest person in the world. Hinote, or rather Vlad, was standing by the door again whistling innocently. Kurama felt Kuwabara's pulse.

"Don't worry everyone, Kuwabara's not dead." Kurama announced.

The lights turned out again. When they turned on again, there was a knife in Kuwabara's back. Vlad leaned over from his spot by the door, "How about now?"

"No, he's still alive." Kurama responded after a moment.

Again, the lights turned out, and when they turned on there was a cactus in Kuwabara's back near the knife. Vlad was leaning against the wall by the door. Autumn thought for a moment, "You know, it seems like every time the lights go out, whoever's trying to kill Kuwabara stabs him with something."

"So all we have to do is find a light switch and we'll know that the person near it is responsible for the crime!" Flash announced.

Vlad looked to his right at the light switch next to him. He looked around with shifty eyes before taking a step to the right so that he was blocking the switch from view. Kurama was feeling for a pulse, "Good news! Kuwabara's _still_ alive!"

The lights once again turned out and when they turned back on there was a Spork in Kuwabara's back. Vlad tapped his foot and asked impatiently, "Is he dead yet?"

"Hmm...Nope, he's still alive." Kurama answered.

"Oh for crying out loud! How many times do I have to stab that idiot before he dies?!" Vlad yelled angrily.

Everyone turned to stare at him. Vlad laughed nervously and looked around, "Err...That's what I _would_ be saying...if I was the one trying to kill him...which I'm not..."

"Ah ha!" Autumn pointed at Vlad, "Good thinking, Watson! In order to catch this criminal we must think like a criminal. Now then, this is obviously someone that has had access to a light switch this entire time. It's also obvious that this person at one point had a shovel. This person also has to be able to sneak by us without being noticed. It's also true that it must be someone in this very room, perhaps someone that is looking around nervously hoping that nobody realizes it's him. And upon further inspection of the body, you'll notice wet sand on the body which means that this person was probably at the beach, possibly buried...!"

Before Autumn could finish her statement, the lights turned off. A few moments later they were turned on by Pip. Everyone noticed Vlad sneaking past Loki with an unconscious Autumn. He looked around a bit before giving Autumn to Loki and pointing at him, "It was you! You bastard! What have you done to Autumn?"

Kurama glared at Loki, "I knew there was something suspicious about you!"

"What the...? But all of you saw him holding her!" Loki protested.

Vlad hissed, "I would never hurt Autumn!"

"What if I paid you?" Yusuke asked.

"That depends, how much money are we talking about?" Vlad asked.

Yusuke thought, "How about $40?"

"Make it $45 and provide me with an alibi." Vlad said.

"Deal." Yusuke and Vlad shook hands.

Kurama looked at them in horror, "You're kidding, right?"

"No." Vlad and Yusuke stated simply.

The lights turned off again. Kurama called over to Pip, "Turn the lights back on!"

"I can't! The power's out!" Pip called back after an unsuccessful attempt at turning the lights on.

A muffled sound of protest was heard from where Loki was standing, followed by the sound of some chairs being pushed out of place and a thud. Kurama was trying to see in the dark and wound up tripping over Kuwabara and falling face first on the ground. Yusuke was trying to feel his way around and wound up falling. As he was looking for something to lean on while standing up, he knocked over a cup of steaming hot coffee and it spilled all over him.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! KUSO! IT BURNS!!!!!" Yusuke screamed.

Flash and Hiei, being smart, decided to stay still until the lights turned on. Random Neighbor Man hadn't moved out of his seat. Pip was still trying to turn the lights on. She suddenly succeeded, temporarily blinding everyone. When they adjusted, they saw Yusuke rolling on the floor screaming in pain because of the coffee. They then noticed Kurama being helped to his feet by Vlad. Last, but certainly most important, they noticed Loki unconscious on the floor.

"Where's Autumn?!" Kurama asked, looking around frantically.

* * *

Dream: Well, I had originally planned on writing more, but then I decided to be evil and leave you with a cliffhanger. Actually, it's really because I'm being forced to go to bed early and I wanted to have the chapter posted for you guys, but the evilness was still a part of it.

Zero: Well, leave a review and Dream will feel loved and happy. This will probably lead to quicker updates.

Dream: Oh, and I love to hear from you people. If you ever want to talk to me, you can email me (check my profile) or IM me on AIM. My screen name is _SenritsuNoTsuki_. Hope to hear from you!


	3. Café Murder Mystery, part 2

::static::

::click::

"Hello and welcome to the 24-hour rock network!"

::flashing yellow background with the words 'Rock Network!'::

"All rocks, all the time!! Today our special guest star is..."

::A medium sized rock appears on screen sitting on a red cloth::

"...Rocky McRockster! Let's zoom in on Rocky...notice the round shape and smooth surface...let's change the angle...Watch as someone pokes the rock...and the rock does nothing...Let's take a moment to observe this fine specimen...The rock is doing absolutely nothing...and he's _still_ doing nothing...Wow! Did you see that?! He did nothing!!"

::click::

"YOU NEVER LET ME DO WHAT _I_ WANT TO DO! It's always: 'Feed me' 'Play with me' 'I'm thirsty' 'I'm tired' 'I want to eat the mailman' 'Let me in!' 'Let me out!' 'Me, me, me'! Well what about _me_ huh?! I have feelings too!"

::A woman with a microphone puts her hand on the shoulder of the standing and yelling man as the audience begins to chant 'Shirley!'::

"Now, sir, it's good that you're getting your emotions out, but you should try to calm down. Now, miss, do you have anything to say in response to this man?"

::The woman holds the microphone down to the mouth of a dog. The dog whines and starts to eat the microphone::

::click::

"And today's temperature in Antarctica is going to reach a whopping -23˚F!!! Those penguins are going to need to put away their winter suits today! And, in more local areas, it's going to be unusually cold with a very good chance of pie. Temperatures will reach a high of Cheese, with the average temperature being around Moose. It's a good day to break out those float-y toys and go take a dip in your local aquarium!"

::click::

"Radioactive toothbrush brought to you by the 'we really, really hate you!' company!"

::click::

"Yu Yu Hakusho and all its characters are property of Yoshihiro Togashi. Flash and Lioness belong to Winter –iel –o burzum. Hinote and Vladimir belong to EternalBlackNight. The story, and all other characters, belongs to Dreamchasereternity unless otherwise noted."

::click::

"WHEN GOOD DOG SHOWS GO FOX! Starring: The Yu Yu Hakusho Bishounen: Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke! Along with: Flash, Autumn, and Hinote! Oh, and Kuwabara, but nobody cares about him. Warning: Contents may not be suitable for anyone lacking in insanity or anyone that does not like excessive amounts of humor."

* * *

_  
_

_Last time_

Flash and Hiei, being smart, decided to stay still until the lights turned on. Random Neighbor Man hadn't moved out of his seat. Pip was still trying to turn the lights on. She suddenly succeeded, temporarily blinding everyone. When they adjusted, they saw Yusuke rolling on the floor screaming in pain because of the coffee. They then noticed Kurama being helped to his feet by Vlad. Last, but certainly most important, they noticed Loki unconscious on the floor.

"Where's Autumn?!" Kurama asked, looking around frantically.

_Now_

****

**Café Murder Mystery, part 2**:

"She was with Loki before the lights went out." Flash pointed at the unconscious magician.

Kurama walked over and started shaking Loki, "WAKE UP!"

"Allow me!" Flash grinned evilly and hit Loki on the head a few times with the Book of Autumn. When she was done he had a bunch of bumps on his head.

"That's going to knock him further into unconsciousness." Random Neighbor Man pointed out.

"Yeah, but it's fun." Flash responded.

Kurama groaned. Pip walked over with a pitcher of ice cold water and dumped it over Loki. Loki sat up immediately, "WE'VE HIT AN ICEBERG, CAPTAIN!! Huh...? Where're the passengers? The ballrooms? The _beautiful _women?"

"What do you mean by that?" Flash asked as she glared at Loki.

"You know, the _pretty_ girls. Not you two. You two don't fall under that category." Loki waved his hand at Pip and Flash dismissively.

Hiei growled and reached for his katana. Flash stopped him, "No. This jerk's ours."

Pip nodded as she and Flash approached Loki with evil looks on their faces. Pip was holding the pitcher as a weapon and Flash was holding her trademark metal pipe. Loki laughed nervously as he backed away. He then started running, "ABANDON SHIP!!!"

The girls were close behind him. They chased him into a corner and proceeded to close in on him, laughing evilly.

**Due to the violent nature of this scene, the visuals have been replaced with...a dancing hamster! You may occasionally hear screaming in the background. Do not be alarmed, nothing bad is happening.**

A light beige hamster wearing a hat with spinning blades (like a fan) that was yellow, red, and orange and a blue shirt that said 'Hokey Pokey' walks out. He starts shaking his hips.

"Let's do the _Hokey Pokey_!"

Music starts playing in the background as he continues to shake his hips. Faintly, screaming is heard, "_Oh gods! The PAIN! The PAIN!!! WHY?!"_

"You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all about."

"_MY ORGANS!!!__ MY ORGANS! OH GODS, MY ORGANS!!!"_

"You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about!"

"_This is what it must feel like to be one of those inflatable punch toys that come back up when you hit them! Why can't you let me stay down?! THE PAIN!!! MY NOOOOSE!!! ARRRRRGH!!!"_

"You do the Hoooooookey Pokey! You do the Hooooookey Pokey! You do the Hoooookey Pokey!"

"_My life is flashing before my eyes! So many things left undone...The pain! THE **PAIN**!!!!"_

"That's what it's all about!"

The music stops and the hamster takes a bow. He then leaves.

** Thank you for your time, we will now reactivate the story's visuals.**

Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke, and Vlad were standing there with similar expressions. Their expressions conveyed horror, surprise, and relief that they were not Loki. Flash and Pip dusted off their hands as they turned away from the badly beaten and bruised Loki. The boys all took a step back at once. Yusuke, Kurama, and Vlad cowered behind Hiei. Hiei looked at Flash with wide eyes.

"What?" Flash asked, looking at the cowering boys.

Pip put a hand to her mouth, "Oh dear, I do believe we scared them."

"Oh, is that all? I thought it was something serious, like Loki still had unbroken bones in his body or something..." Flash smirked suddenly as her 'Con the bakas out of house and home' sense detected a perfect money making opportunity.

"Flash is smirking." Yusuke pointed out.

"Let's run for the door." Vlad said.

"But the storm!" Kurama protested.

"Storm or Flash, which would you rather face?" Yusuke asked the others.

The four boys didn't have to think long about their choices. The four of them bolted toward the door at the same time. They stopped abruptly when they realized Flash was standing in front of the door with her arms crossed, grinning evilly. Yusuke and Vlad clung to each other and whimpered as Kurama and Hiei moved away nervously.

"You know guys that show you just watched isn't free..." Flash smirked.

"But Flash...you already have all the money we had...We gave it to you for your hamster." Kurama protested nervously.

Flash frowned, "Aw, crap, you're right...Well, once you guys get money again, remind me to threaten you into giving it to me."

The four boys sighed in relief. Flash looked around, "Holy hell! Autumn's gone!"

"She's been gone since the lights turned back on." Hiei pointed out.

Kurama started panicking, "We've wasted so much time! Who knows what might've happened to her by now! This is horrible! I may never see her again..."

Pip suddenly screamed and pointed behind everyone to the table where Random Neighbor Man was. Everyone looked and gasped when they saw that Random Neighbor Man had a knife in his chest and was seemingly dead. Kurama went over and felt for a pulse.

"Thankfully the knife appears not to have hit any vital organs and he's not bleeding too much. I think he'll live!" Kurama smiled.

"Damn, I knew I should've read that book on human anatomy! I keep missing the heart!" Vlad yelled angrily.

Everyone turned to stare at him. He laughed nervously as he looked at them, "I was...um...playing Operation?"

Vlad took the game out of seemingly nowhere along with the tweezers. He tried to take out the heart. The game made a buzzing sound every time he tried. He hissed and threw it on the floor, causing it to get stuck buzzing. He started stomping on it, "DAMN NINGEN TORTURE DEVICE!!!" (Don't own Operation)

Pip looked at the others, "Who could've done this?"

"Well, it's like Autumn was saying before she mysteriously got knocked unconscious, it has to be someone in this room. With Autumn, Kuwabara, and that Random Neighbor Man gone and Loki being preoccupied, it had to have been either Kurama, Hiei, Hinote, Me, Flash, or Pip. Flash and Pip were busy hurting Loki so it has to be one of us four!" Yusuke announced as he pointed at himself, Kurama, Hiei, and Vlad.

"What?!" Kurama seemed shocked to be accused.

"Wait, Kurama would never hurt Autumn and it certainly wasn't me, so it must've been either Hinote or Hiei!" Yusuke nodded.

"How do we know it wasn't you?" Vlad asked in an attempt to save his skin.

"You're right!" Yusuke gasped and pointed at himself, "Alright, where was I on the night of November 22nd, 1874?!"

"Um...not even born?" Flash suggested.

"A likely excuse!" Yusuke announced as he glared at his reflection in a mirror.

Kurama looked around, "Maybe there's a backroom or something where we might find a clue?"

"Good idea! Let's split up gang!" Yusuke announced.

Flash groaned, "No Scooby Doo parodies, ok?" (Don't own Scooby Doo)

"Oh, fine...We'll save that for the bloopers..." Yusuke stated.

"Bloopers?" Kurama raised an eyebrow.

"I mean...what bloopers?" Yusuke looked around with shifty eyes.

Vlad took the opportunity to cut a conveniently placed rope which caused a conveniently placed chandelier to fall on top of Yusuke. Kurama, Pip, Flash, and Hiei sweat dropped as they stared at Yusuke's now crushed form. Vlad pretended to be oblivious.

"Wow, I guess he wasn't the killer after all." Vlad said.

Hiei gave Vlad an 'I know what you did two paragraphs ago' look, "Brilliant deduction."

"So that narrows our suspects down to the three boys there." Pip pointed at Vlad, Hiei, and Kurama.

"Naw, it's like Yusuke said, the pansy would never hurt Autumn." Flash nodded.

Kurama growled, "I am _not_ a pansy."

"It's odd, though. I don't remember there being a chandelier..." Pip blinked, "Someone must have put it there...but who would do such a dreadful thing...?"

"Not Hiei, he's too short. He wouldn't be able to put that up there, even with a ladder." Flash nodded.

"We're the same height!!!" Hiei yelled at Flash.

Flash blinked and stood on a chair, "Now we're not."

Hiei growled and rolled his eyes. Kurama snapped his fingers, "I've got it!"

Everyone turned to look at him. Kurama nodded, "Loki must have done it! That beaten up thing in the corner isn't really Loki! It's an illusion!"

Hiei fell over anime style, "Baka kitsune!"

"No...If it was an illusion I'd know. It felt very real, and there's no mistaking it, I definitely heard breaking bones." Flash nodded.

Pip glanced at Vlad, "Then that must mean..."

Vlad suddenly found that he had access to a light switch once again. He turned the lights off, hit Pip over the head with a turtle he found walking around, and then turned the lights back on. Flash gasped.

"Pip's been killed!" she stated as she pointed.

"Let's look around for clues!" Vlad announced as he took out a magnifying glass and started looking around.

Kurama sighed in relief, "She isn't dead, either."

"That must mean that this 'killer' is a complete and total idiot." Flash stated.

The lights went off again. When Hiei turned them back on, Vlad and Flash were gone. He looked around and growled. Kurama gasped.

"Does this mean the killer got both Hinote _and_ Flash?" Kurama asked.

Hiei glared at him, "Hinote _is_ the killer, idiot."

"Eh? Oh...I knew that!" Kurama laughed and rubbed the back of his head.

Hiei sweat dropped. Kurama's smile faded, "Wait...that means...HINOTE!!!!!!"

Hinote walked into the room dusting his hands off, "What?"

"You're the killer!" Kurama pointed at him accusingly.

"No, I'm not...I just...went to the bathroom!" Hinote defended.

"What did you do with Flash?" Hiei growled.

Hinote laughed, "Oh, don't worry, she's ok."

Outside, the storm had stopped and it was starting to get light out. Kurama and Hiei had survived the night in the café of doom. On the floor, Kuwabara's body lay, with a knife, cactus, and Spork in his back. Not too far away was the table where Random Neighbor Man's body was slumped in its chair. In the corner, Loki's bruised and beaten body was lying in a crumpled mass. Pip was lying on the floor unconscious with a turtle resting on its shell nearby, struggling to right itself. Near them was a chandelier that was crushing Yusuke's body. The three remaining boys sat silently for a moment.

"So, you wanna leave before the police come?" Hinote asked.

"Yes, that would be wise." Kurama nodded.

The three of them left. Some time later, a happy child skipped into the café and was scarred for life by seeing all the bodies. The police were quickly notified and everyone was brought to the hospital where they were treated and fixed up as best as possible, though all the doctors agreed that it was a shame that the boy in blue with orange hair's face had been so badly damaged that it was beyond repair. Little did they know that that was the way he had always looked. Outside the café, a cat was scavenging around the dumpster when all of a sudden the lid lifted and two angry golden eyes glowed from the darkness.

But what of Autumn, you ask? Well, to find out her fate we must travel west across an ocean... (The _Atlantic_ Ocean, Ari)

**Somewhere in ****Iceland**

Two Puffins were conversing about fish and techniques to catch fish. Suddenly a box fell from the sky and landed near them. They stared at the box. It had a label that sand 'Handle with caution, live and dangerous animal inside'. It also had many stamps on it. As the puffins watched, the box started to move. It then opened and Autumn sat up. She looked around.

"Where am I...?"

* * *

Dream: So there's chapter 3! Sorry it's so short since I made you wait long, but I wanted to get it done before my mom dragged me off to spend the night at her boyfriend's house. I found it quite amusing, and I'm hoping you did too. Anyway, please review! 


	4. Hospital Food Makes Your Organs Implode

Dream: HI! Welcome to chapter 4 of '_When Good Dog Shows Go Fox'_ ! I meant to update this much sooner but stuff kept distracting me. ::dies::

Zero: You're planning to write a new fanfic, aren't you?

Dream: Yeah, but I'm not going to post it until this fic is done. That way I won't neglect this one.

Zero: Oh well, I'm sure nobody cares about any of this. They just want their fanfic.

Dream: Yes, and I want to write it, so do the disclaimer!

Zero: ::sighs:: Yu Yu Hakusho and all its characters are property of Yoshihiro Togashi. Flash and Lioness belong to Winter –iel –o burzum. Hinote and Vladimir belong to EternalBlackNight. The story, and all other characters, belongs to Dreamchasereternity unless otherwise noted.

Dream: And...Action!

* * *

_Last time_

The three of them left. Some time later, a happy child skipped into the café and was scarred for life by seeing all the bodies. The police were quickly notified and everyone was brought to the hospital where they were treated and fixed up as best as possible, though all the doctors agreed that it was a shame that the boy in blue with orange hair's face had been so badly damaged that it was beyond repair. Little did they know that that was the way he had always looked. Outside the café, a cat was scavenging around the dumpster when all of a sudden the lid lifted and two angry golden eyes glowed from the darkness.

But what of Autumn, you ask? Well, to find out her fate we must travel west across an ocean... (The _Atlantic_ Ocean, Ari)

**Somewhere in Iceland**

Two Puffins were conversing about fish and techniques to catch fish. Suddenly a box fell from the sky and landed near them. They stared at the box. It had a label that sand 'Handle with caution, live and dangerous animal inside'. It also had many stamps on it. As the puffins watched, the box started to move. It then opened and Autumn sat up. She looked around.

"Where am I...?"

_Now:_

**Hospital Food Makes Your Organs Implode**:

A few hours later, Hinote, Kurama, and Hiei were sitting outside the hospital eating ice cream and watching as people rushed in and out of the jaws of clean, sparkly hospital doom. Every once in a while an ambulance would drive up bringing patients in critical condition into the emergency room. During these occasions, Hinote and Hiei stared intently at the people running with a stretcher to see if they could figure out what had happened to the person shaped mound on the bed.

"Hey! That person looks like they were badly mauled by Ninja Raccoons!" Hinote pointed at the latest emergency patient being run inside.

"How can you tell?" Hiei questioned.

Hinote rubbed the back of his head, "Autumn unleashed a bunch of raccoons on me a while back because she wanted to see if they had properly learned all she had to teach them about martial arts and ninja skills. It hurt..."

Kurama shook his head and chuckled quietly. Sometimes he wished that Autumn would act more mature, but he had to admit that her immaturity made her absolutely adorable. That brought up a question he had been meaning to ask, "Where's Autumn?"

"Eh...? Well...I'm not sure exactly..." Hinote laughed nervously.

Kurama's eye twitched, "You're...not...sure...?"

"Well, no...You see, I can't exactly remember what V-eh..._I_ did with her..." Hinote continued to laugh nervously.

Kurama growled lowly and his eyes flashed golden, showing that Youko, too, was angry at the thought of Autumn being hurt. After all, if Autumn was hurt, Harmony would be too. He spoke through clenched teeth, "She better not be hurt..."

Hinote smiled nervously, "Don't worry...I'm sure she's fine..."

"Shouldn't we go inside and check to see which of the bakas are out of our lives for good?" Hiei worded his question in a way that cleverly disguised the fact that he was worried about his friends. Or maybe his question wasn't disguised at all and he really _didn't _care about their safety. Or maybe he worded his question in a way that made it seem that he was cleverly disguising the fact that he was worried about his friends, even though he really wasn't, in order to avoid a friendship speech from Kurama. Choose whichever seems most likely.

"Aw, Hiei _cares _about them!" Hinote grinned.

Hiei growled, "I know what happened to the next person being brought to the Emergency Room..."

"What?" Hinote asked, looking around for an ambulance.

Hiei pushed Hinote into the street. Screeching sounds and the sounds of people screaming curses were heard, along with the sound of car horns. There was soon a large pile-up of cars. The fire demon smirked, "Car accident."

"**_HIEI!!!_**" Kurama screamed in horror at the fire demon's action, "It isn't nice to throw your friends into oncoming traffic!!!"

Kurama stopped and looked around, noticing that there was an absence of angry, murderous aura. He looked next to him and noticed that Hiei was no longer standing there. In his place was a plain white note. Kurama picked up the note and read it.

"'Fox: No Speech. Hiei'" Kurama sweat dropped. He sighed and rushed into the crowd of humans forming at the scene of the accident in the hopes of seeing gore. Humans are like that, ya know. They like seeing people suffer. Or at least, a lot of them do. There are some nice humans, but those usually wind up going insane from all the pain and stuff. Yeah, none of this has to do with the story. I just wanted this paragraph to look longer.

**Meanwhile, in the kingdom of Puffonia: **

"Let me get this straight... I landed in the exact same spot at the exact time that some crazy puffin prophet predicted that the puffins would be sent a queen by the fish god Anut?" Autumn asked the man sitting next to her.

The man was dressed in dirty brown trousers that were torn at the bottom and a dirty brown vest. His feet were bare. He had tanned skin and forest green hair. His eyes were indigo in color. He had little scratches and dirt all over him. He looked like someone that had been shipwrecked on a deserted island.

The man nodded and spoke with a Spanish accent, "Sí, sí. The puffins believe you to be their god sent queen."

"So I get to rule the entire kingdom of Puffonia?"

"And all of its colonies."

"Colonies?"

"All the puffins of the world are subjects of Puffonia."

"So I'll be Queen of all Puffins?"

"Sí."

"W00T!" Autumn did a little dance where she was sitting. She stopped and looked around the room they were in, "So why am I in the dungeon?"

"The Queen's room has no furnishings yet and this is the only other human sized room."

"Oh... Why are you here?" Autumn pointed at him, "And who are you?"

The man bowed, "I am Pepe. I was fleeing from prosecution in my homeland of Spain using a raft made of waffles when a giant squid ate my raft and stranded me here."

"A raft made of waffles?!" Autumn's jaw dropped.

Pepe shrugged, "It was why I was in trouble. I stole waffles from the President of the United States."

"I love you."

The door of the small dungeon cell opened, revealing two puffins. One was the guard. She was wearing armor and holding a set of keys. The other puffin was the royal dresser. He was wearing an ocean blue toga-like dress rimmed with gold. He was holding a red toga dress that was also rimmed with gold. There were two golden sandals resting on the dress and a set of six ocean blue ribbons. There was also a golden belt with a golden leaf buckle.

The royal dresser walked over to Autumn and placed the clothes down. He squawked some words, bowed and left. The guard led Pepe out of the room and closed the door, so that Autumn would be able to change in privacy. Autumn shrugged and started to change into the dress.

**The Hospital, Room number 666**:

Yusuke was sharing his hospital bed with a fully bandaged Kuwabara. Across the room from them was a bed containing Loki and next to his bed was a bed with Pip in it. Next to Yusuke and Kuwabara's bed was a bed containing Random Neighbor Man.

Loki was bandaged and in a full body cast. He had a sort of dazed expression on his face. At first glance it would appear that Loki was watching TV, but upon closer inspection, one would notice that his eyes were blank and unblinking. Perhaps the muscles he needed to blink were torn and broken along with all the bones in his body?

Pip was unconscious. The doctors said she was suffering from a turtle induced concussion which seemed to be a regular occurrence nowadays, what with the turtles being genetically altered to think that they're birds by the animal testing lab that was located dangerously close to an Elementary School but apparently had nothing to do with the recent disappearance of a beloved class mascot.

Yusuke had a cast on his arm and his leg, but for the most part he hadn't been badly injured. He had developed a resistance to things falling on him. He did hang around with Autumn and Flash, after all. Heavy things spontaneously falling on him were a regular occurrence in his life.

Kuwabara had managed not to be badly injured by the repeated stabbings in his back with various objects. Apparently he only had some cuts in his back but that was it. He had bandages covering his head and chest because a bunch of nurses had quit after going in the room and it was just better for everyone's eyes that way.

Last but not least was Random Neighbor Man. Kurama had been right, the knife had missed all of Random Neighbor Man's vital organs and he hadn't lost much blood. He was still being monitored closely, because the doctor had a bit of trouble removing the knife and if he showed any signs of having been injured by the doctor's incompetence he would be killed and his records removed from existence so that there would be no lawsuit.

Since there was nothing better to do, Yusuke was watching the TV that was hanging in the corner of the room by the door. Kuwabara was attempting to watch TV, but the bandages were covering his eyes. He didn't seem to notice, though. Random Neighbor Man had been reading a book, but had fallen asleep. Loki started drooling slightly, since the muscles to close his mouth were also torn.

The door opened to reveal Kurama. He had a friendly smile on his face and had both arms behind his back. He walked into the room. All attention, even Loki's, was drawn to Kurama as a dragging sound was heard behind him. It soon became apparent that in Kurama's hands was one end of a leash. The other end was attached to a collar that had a tag saying 'Property of Flash' on it and was around the neck of a very angry fire demon.

Hiei was sitting cross legged on the ground and had his arms crossed. Kurama had forced him to carry a bunch of flowers and stuffed animals for their injured friends. Hiei was glaring over the presents at all the nurses and people that were staring at him. He had been quite annoyed when someone at the front desk had commented to Kurama, 'I'm sorry, sir, we don't allow pets in here.' Needless to say, that person wouldn't be doing much speaking anymore. It would be kind of hard to speak with a Sally-wets-a-lot doll stuck in their mouth...

Yusuke grinned, "Aww, Hiei, you brought us presents! I didn't know you cared!"

"Don't flatter yourself, detective. The kitsune forced me to carry these. I don't even want to be here but if I leave I'll get a speech about proper treatment of friends." Hiei growled.

Kurama nodded while smiling. Yusuke whistled dramatically. He then looked around, "Hey, where's Hinote? And Flash?"

"We don't know where Flash is, but Hiei threw Hinote into traffic so now he's in the emergency room." Kurama responded.

"He tried to murder my lo...err...Flash, so he had to pay dearly." Hiei justified.

Yusuke smirked, "Your _what_, Hiei? Lo..._love?"_

"Detective..." Hiei growled menacingly.

"Now calm down, Hiei, it certainly wouldn't be nice of you to hurt an injured person..." Kurama scolded.

Hiei glared, "That's never stopped me before."

"Do you want a speech?" Kurama glared back.

Hiei whimpered and looked down at the ground. Kurama nodded, "Thought so."

The door then opened and a bed was wheeled in by a man in a light blue male nurses' uniform. He wheeled the bed over next to the window across from the door. As the bed passed by, everyone could tell that it was Hinote. He had bandages covering his entire body except his face. There were casts on both arms and his left leg. Hinote shot Hiei a death glare as the nurse left the room.

"Oh, you're alive. What a shame." Hiei remarked coldly.

Kurama glared at Hiei before smiling at Hinote, "It's good to see that you're alright."

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. At least until the pain medication wears off. Then I'll probably be in horrible pain." Hinote responded casually.

"Sounds pleasant," Yusuke said sarcastically.

The door was opened and in came a pretty black haired nurse. She was about Hiei's height and had tinted glasses covering her eyes. She had on a white nurse's dress with white shoes and a white hat. All of the guys thought that she looked suspiciously familiar. She was pushing a cart of food and smiling brightly.

"Food for the injured people!" She said in a forced high pitched voice.

Yusuke began to drool, "I love being injured..."

The nurse visibly twitched. In reality it was Flash and she was itching to beat Yusuke over the head with the tray but for the sake of revenge she kept her temper in check. She walked over to each bed and gave out a tray of food. There was some strange meat-like dish, a small cup of red jell-o stuff, and a small container of juice.

Yusuke grinned, "Yes! Jell-o!"

"Um...actually...that's supposed to be mashed potatoes..." Flash laughed nervously.

Yusuke's eyes widened and he spit out the spoonful he had put in his mouth. Hinote managed to pick up his cup of mashed potatoes and chuck it at Hiei. Hiei growled and threw Kuwabara's potatoes at Hinote. Kurama interrupted before they could continue.

"Please, let's try and behave like adults." Kurama pleaded.

Yusuke was drinking the juice. Hinote looked over, "In the immortal words of Foamy the Squirrel (Don't own), 'I guess this is some kind of juice...waaait, could be a urine sample. I wouldn't drink that if I were you.'"

Yusuke was silent as he slowly put down the carton of juice. Flash walked over to Kurama with a cup of tea, "Here. You look like you need something to calm your nerves."

"Why thank you, miss. You're so kind." Kurama smiled and took the tea. He drank it happily.

Flash grinned inwardly. She then waved, "Well, I hope all of you feel better. I have to go take care of other useless sick people now. Buh-bye."

"Bye." Kurama waved as Flash left the room, "Such a nice nurse."

Hiei narrowed his eyes, "She looked familiar."

"Maybe she goes to Hinote, Flash, and Autumn's school?" Kuwabara suggested.

"That seems highly like-" Kurama collapsed onto the ground before he could finish.

Hiei poked at Kurama with his foot, "Looks like that tea was poison. It's too bad, I actually liked him."

Outside the room, Flash grinned and ran down the hall to the bathroom where she had stashed her clothes. She changed out of her nurse's outfit and into black pants with glow-in-the-dark trim and a black short sleeved shirt.

"It's about time! If I had had to spend another minute in that damn nurse's dress I would've gone insane!" Flash started laughing insanely as she exited the bathroom. The people in the hall turned to stare at her as she continued talking to herself out loud, "My revenge upon pansy boy is complete. Now for my revenge on the small one..."

**Meanwhile in Iceland**:

Autumn stepped out of the dungeon to be met with a few armor clad puffins, the royal dresser, and Pepe. Pepe gaped at the future ruler of the puffins. She was dressed in the red toga-like dress which went to about her knees. The belt was fastened around her waist to keep the dress together. The golden sandals had straps which were up to just below the knee. There was one ocean blue ribbon on each of her wrists. One ribbon was tied around her neck with a bow and one was tied with a bow around the bottom of her hair, making a loose pony-tail. The other two were tied around her hair in the front, one on each side of her face.

The puffins let out a loud cheer as they crowded around their new ruler. Autumn laughed nervously and looked at Pepe, "Do you know what they're saying?"

"Sí, after spending so much time with them I've learned their language well. I'll teach you, if you'd like." Pepe answered.

Autumn smiled and nodded, "That would be so wonderful! I can't very well be the puffin queen without knowing the puffin language!"

"Well, it's all quite simple once you really start to pay attention to what the puffins sound like..." Pepe began.

And so, in a matter of four hours, Autumn learned the language of the people...err...creatures she would soon be ruler over. Once that was done, there was a great ceremony in which Autumn was crowned the queen. Back in New York, Flash had put the finishing touches on her revenge plans. Kurama, after a doctor walked in and found him collapsed on the ground while Hiei, Yusuke, and Hinote watched the Petshop of Horrors DVD that Hinote borrowed from Flash who borrowed it from Autumn who borrowed it from her friend Serenity. After being thoroughly disgusted by someone being eaten alive by killer rabbits, the doctor had tended to Kurama, given him an antidote, and put him in the chair in Loki's bed to save space. The beauty of it all was that neither Kurama nor Loki could protest.

Flash was in the hospital gift shop looking around. She was trying to find the perfect minion of death and destruction. She passed by a display full of teddy bears. She stopped suddenly and walked backwards a few steps. There in the center of the display was the perfect revenge...A bright pink teddy bear holding a heart that said 'I love you'. Flash laughed evilly. She then stopped, looked around with shifty eyes, grabbed the bear and left.

She casually walked up to the floor with her friends' room on it. She sat down in the waiting room and set to work. She wrote on the little tag attached to the bear's ear 'Dear Hiei, I luv u more then u will no. Luv, Kuwabara'. She gagged as she reread the tag. It was perfect. She looked around suspiciously before running to the room. She opened the door quietly and crept inside. She crawled past the beds to the chair Hiei was sitting in.

Hinote's pain medication was wearing off and he felt like he was going to pass out from pain. He decided to get rid of the pain in the most logical and fastest way possible. He let Vladimir have control. The vampire was immediately subject to the pain of Hinote's body. He would have started cursing his human half out loud, but he noticed Flash crawling on the floor behind Hiei.

Two things went through the vampire's mind: 'Flash is still alive' and 'I must change that'. He arched an eyebrow when he saw a ball of pink in Flash's hands. He watched Flash stand up quietly and drop the pink thing in Hiei's lap. She then dove under Pip's bed. Hiei blinked and looked at the pinkness. Vlad's eyes widened and he hissed as he connected the evil of the pink bear in Hiei's lap with the evil of the pink bear that Autumn had given him as a joke.

Hiei read the tag. He dropped the bear with his eyes wide in horror. Then Hiei did a very un-Hiei-like thing. He screamed. Yusuke covered his ears. Loki let out a squeak of pain. Kuwabara whimpered. Vlad hissed and tried to cover his ears. Flash had come prepared with ear plugs. Pip and Kurama...stayed unconscious. Makes you wonder what kind of drugs the hospital put in their systems. Maybe prune juice.

After a minute or so of screaming, Hiei passed out from lack of air. Flash came out from under the bed, "Well that was fun."

"Did you _have_ to do that?" Vlad hissed.

Flash smirked, "Yes I did, dog boy!"

"Dog boy?!" Vlad growled.

Flash shrugged, "Well, Autumn always says that you need obedience training, so I've decided to call you dog boy. It fits you very well, if I do say so myself."

Vlad's eye was twitching violently. If Hinote wasn't injured, he would've attacked Flash. He settled for yelling, "I am _not_ a dog, you stupid cat!"

"Watch it, dog boy! If you keep yelling like that the nurses will come in and give you a sedative." Flash hissed.

Vlad narrowed his eyes, "I hate you."

"Hinote, are you ok? You're acting strange." Yusuke pointed out.

Vlad glared at him. Flash turned around and walked to the door. She looked back over her shoulder, "I'm going to go raid all of your houses to see if I can find anything valuable. Have fun being stuck in this room!"

Just then the door slammed open, smashing Flash against the wall and trapping her there. Autumn - dressed in a colorful Hawaiian shirt with Khaki shorts, colorful lei, plain brown sandals, and a straw hat – was there at the door. At her side was a black bag. She was grinning madly.

"Hello friends! Autumn hath return-ed from her quest of epic proportions!" Autumn announced cheerily with her arms above her head.

Vlad picked up the tray that his food had been delivered on. It was awkward and difficult, but he managed to knock himself unconscious with it. Kuwabara had long since fallen asleep. Yusuke had been knocked unconscious by a vase that had fallen on his head after Autumn slammed the door open. The door swung back closed and Flash's unconscious body fell to the floor with a thud.

Autumn looked around at all the injured and unconscious people. She pouted, "Aw, did you guys have a party while I was gone?"

* * *

Dream: Oh frogs, it took me almost a month to update! x.x;; I'm so sorry everyone! I've been going places a lot recently and once I did finish the chapter, the rabbit of doom ate my monitor. Blame him, not me. Well, since it's starting to get colder out, I'll probably be going out less, which means faster updates!

Zero: yay?

Dream: Well, I'll try and update more quickly. Remember to check my profile for any important news and stuff. Oh and Winter and I are working together to write a Halloween special. We'll be posting it on the pen name 'Dream and Winter' so keep an eye out!

Zero: Review or else.


	5. Magical Plot Advancing Shtuff

Dream: AGH! I'm so sorry everyone! I completely lost interest in fanfics for about two months. I mean, originally I blamed it on the mini emotional breakdown I was having, then I was very busy, but recently I've had no excuse and I apologize greatly. ::grovels on the floor:: FORGIVE ME!

Zero: ::sweat drop:: Stop that. I'm embarrassed for you.

Dream: But I feel _really_ bad that I haven't updated in so long!

Zero: So just update more often.

Dream: ::gasps and stands up with fists clenched:: You're right! I have time now and I should dedicate that time to doing something worthwhile! ::holds fist in the air:: I will fulfill my duty as a writer and update my fanfics more often!

::rain pours from the sky and Dream's in a raincoat with a rain hat and umbrella:: Neither rain nor snow ::it starts snowing and Dream's bundled up in bulky coats with mittens and a scarf:: will keep me from giving the public what they want!!!

Zero: ::stares:: How the hell are you doing that?

Dream: ::posing on a mountain peak in a mountain goat costume while pointing to the distance:: I will climb the tallest mountains! ::in a fish costume at the bottom of the ocean with fish and things swimming by:: And swim the deepest seas! Just to bring the best fanfics to my readers!

Zero: ::blinking rapidly and looking around at all the fish:: What the...? ::crab clamps its claw on his tail:: YEOW!!!!! ::jumps::

Dream: ::in a lemur costume with jungle scenery around:: ::ranting on and on::

Zero: ::throws crab off tail:: Can you _please_ just start the damn chapter?!

Dream: ::everything goes back to normal:: RIGHT! ::goes to push big red button::

Crab: ::pushes button::

Dream: ::horror stricken:: ::growls:: That's _my _job! ::attacks crab::

* * *

_Last time:_

Just then the door slammed open, smashing Flash against the wall and trapping her there. Autumn - dressed in a colorful Hawaiian shirt with Khaki shorts, colorful lei, plain brown sandals, and a straw hat – was there at the door. At her side was a black bag. She was grinning madly.

"Hello friends! Autumn hath return-ed from her quest of epic proportions!" Autumn announced cheerily with her arms above her head.

Vlad picked up the tray that his food had been delivered on. It was awkward and difficult, but he managed to knock himself unconscious with it. Kuwabara had long since fallen asleep. Yusuke had been knocked unconscious by a vase that had fallen on his head after Autumn slammed the door open. The door swung back closed and Flash's unconscious body fell to the floor with a thud.

Autumn looked around at all the injured and unconscious people. She pouted, "Aw, did you guys have a party while I was gone?"

_Now:_

**Magical Plot Advancing Shtuff**:

It was about two days later and everyone had miraculously healed from their injuries. Random Neighbor Man had gone back to his home with plans to move farther away. Pip went back to her grandmother's café because she was needed to oversee the repairs and things. Loki had a big show to do at a fancy restaurant that night and he'd invited Autumn. Autumn had then invited Kurama, Hiei, Flash, Hinote, Yusuke, and Kuwabara to the show. At the moment they were hanging around the park with the lake in the middle.

Yusuke was wearing jeans and a white tee. Kuwabara was wearing his usual blue school uniform. Kurama was wearing black pants with a light green button up shirt that was hanging over his pants. Hiei was wearing his usual black pants with four white belts and a black tank top. Flash was wearing black pants with a black tank top, her black trench coat, and black boots. Hinote wore a black tee with khaki pants and his steel toed boots. Autumn was wearing a black short sleeved shirt with a short jacket over it that tied in front and didn't pass her chest which had large sleeves that hung down at the wrists. She was also wearing a black skirt that went to her knees and black boots. She also had Harmony's fox ears and tail showing. She still had the straw hat on her head.

Yusuke pointed at Autumn, "What's with the outfit? I thought you hated skirts."

"The grumpy fox wanted me to wear it." Autumn responded before holding her head in pain, "I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"

Kurama poked the straw hat, "I've been meaning to ask why you've been wearing this."

"Oh, no reason!" Autumn laughed nervously. Her hat started to move on her head.

Yusuke arched an eyebrow, "Why's your hat moving?"

"It's not moving!" Autumn answered quickly, putting her hands on the hat to hold it down. The hat squeaked in displeasure.

Hiei rolled his eyes, "Riiight, and next I suppose you'll tell us that the hat didn't just squeak?"

"Silly Hiei, hats can't squeak! They lack spleens!" Autumn laughed.

Hinote pointed, "And I suppose next you'll tell us that those ears are real?"

"They _are_ real!" Autumn, now being controlled by her demon half, hissed.

"Suure they are." Hinote nodded.

Harmony growled and pulled aside her hair to reveal that the fox ears had taken the place of her human ears, "Look, no human ears. Ha! I win, you lose, go drown yourself in the lake! You will never beat me for I am _the_ fox! I know Flamingo-fu!"

Harmony balanced on one leg with her hands in karate chop positions in front of her face. She started hopping around on the one leg, "Huwaaaah!"

"Shit, Harmony's suffering from caramel withdrawal." Flash hissed before hiding behind a tree.

"CARAMEL?!" Harmony froze in mid Flamingo hop to look around frantically for caramel. She spotted some random man with a cell phone that was a light golden brownish color.

**Harm's equation**: Light golden brown rectangular shape CARAMEL!

There was a gust of wind and a puff of Harmony shaped smoke remained where the fox had once been. The group turned their attention towards the man after he screamed in pain. They rushed over to see the man holding his bleeding arm and on the floor squirming in discomfort.

"Oh god, it bit me! _It bit me!!!!"_ The man was screaming.

Nearby Harmony was sitting Indian style, chewing on the cell phone determinedly. Kurama put a hand out to stop her, "Harmony, that's not caramel...It's a cell phone...Don't eat it, you'll get..." Kurama sweat dropped as Harmony got electrocuted by the phone and fell over on the ground with swirly eyes, "...electrocuted..."

"Stupid fox." Vlad commented.

"Vlad, look, somebody's bleeding!" Flash announced.

Vlad looked around, "Where?!"

Flash bashed him in the face with her metal pipe and watched him fall to the floor holding his bleeding nose, "There."

Hiei resisted the urge to point and laugh at Vlad. He settled for smirking, "That's my girl."

"Ahem." coughed Flash from behind Hiei.

"I mean...That's my lord and master." Hiei corrected.

"Very good." Flash nodded.

Vlad ran off to the first aid station near the park office holding his nose. A little while later Hinote came back with a big bandage over his nose. Autumn had woken up and was rubbing her head. She looked up at Hinote, "What happened to you?"

Hinote got all teary eyed, "Flash crushed my nose with her metal pipe."

"Oh get over it. It's not like it's the first time I've done it." Flash rolled her eyes.

Hinote shrugged, "Yeah I guess you're right. So what's under the hat, Autumn?"

"It's just an ordinary hat!" Autumn yelled at him.

Yusuke grabbed the hat and took it off her head. Autumn gasped. Everyone nearby stared at her funny. Kurama frowned, "Autumn, have you been stealing puffins from the zoo again?"

Autumn took the three small puffins off of her head and hugged them, "Nuh-uh! Pappy's my advisor, Pippy's my bodyguard and Panyo's the little orphan I'm taking care of!"

"They have names?" Yusuke asked.

"Obviously, idiot." Hiei responded coldly.

Flash poked one of the puffins, "Where'd you get them?"

"Well, I was at the café with you guys and the next thing I knew it was dark and something hit me in the head. Then I woke up in a cramped space that was falling. After crash-landing in a pile of snow, I discovered that I had been in a box. I was then found by puffins and brought to their kingdom of Puffonia where they crowned me their queen. That's why I've got Pappy and Pippy with me." Autumn finished her story with a nod.

"So you're now the queen of the puffins?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yup!" Autumn beamed.

Yusuke and Kuwabara burst out laughing hysterically. Pippy let out a squawk of displeasure before attacking both of the baka. Yusuke and Kuwabara started screaming and running from the angered puffin. Kurama sweat dropped, "Autumn, make your puffins go back home. They'll cause trouble if we bring them tonight."

"Oh fine. Pappy, Pippy, go back home. Panyo, you're staying with me." Autumn commanded. Pappy and Pippy saluted before flying away. Panyo gave a happy chirp.

Hinote scratched his head, "Well it's getting sort of late, maybe we should head over to the restaurant now."

"Yeah, that'd be a good idea." Flash agreed.

Autumn jumped to her feet with Panyo on her head. Both she and Panyo pointed off into the distance, "Yes! Let's go where no fox girl or puffin has gone before! We will enter the fancy pants-y restaurant of fancy pants-y DOOM-ness! We will go in as mere commoners and _crush_ their security like small crushable things so that _we_, not they, will be in control of the restaurant! Muahahaha!"

Autumn and Panyo were both laughing insanely. Flash shook her head as she walked past the two, "Sometimes I worry about you, Autumn. Then I remember that if you get chased by the police it'll buy me time to rob some banks and thus I thank the powers that be for blessing me with such an idiotic crazy friend."

**Later, at the restaurant**:

"I'm so glad you came!" Loki announced as he hugged Autumn tightly.

Autumn was struggling to get away, "Can't breathe..."

Kurama was glaring daggers at Loki. He started growling. Flash tapped Loki on the shoulder, "Uh Loki, it would be in your best interest to put Autumn down now."

Loki put Autumn down and put his hands on her shoulders, "You are going to help me pull this magic show off."

"I am?" Autumn blinked.

"Yes. You see, my usual assistant is suffering from digestion right now..."

"Don't you mean _in_digestion?" Kurama asked.

Loki shook his head, "No, I mean she's being digested in the belly of a large bear demon right now."

"You know about demons?" asked Yusuke.

"Feh, of course I know about demons! I _am_ one!" Loki waved his hand dismissively.

Kurama nodded, "That would explain the demonic aura I sensed from you."

"You sure that wasn't just the jealousy messing with your senses?" Flash smirked.

Kurama glared at her, "I am not, and never have been, jealous of that stupid trickster."

"He's hugging Autumn." Flash stated unenthusiastically.

Fire formed around Kurama, "That bastard! I'll kill him!!!!"

"I rest my case." Flash rolled her eyes before walking away.

Loki was now holding Autumn's hands, "I desperately need you to fill in for my usual assistant. I'll reward you richly."

Flash froze in mid-step, "Reward? Rich? Autumn!"

Autumn stared as Flash ran over and grabbed her hands from Loki, "Eh? Flash, what're you...?"

"How can you simply stand there when this poor down on his luck magician is begging you for help? You _have_ to do this, Autumn! Think of all those children that will be disappointed if they don't see their magic show! Think of all those poor parents that will have to hear the crying! Think of my empty wallet!" Flash gave Autumn a pleading look.

Autumn rolled her eyes, "Alright, I'll do it."

"YIPPEE!" Flash and Loki jumped in the air and gave each other a high-five.

Autumn shook her head and mumbled to herself, "I seriously hope that I'm not going to regret this..."

**A few minutes or so later**:

Everyone was in a rather large ballroom-like room. Across from the entrance doors was a rather large stage. The backstage was shielded from view by a red velvet curtain. On either side of the stage were doors. One led backstage and the other to the kitchens. Between the entrance doors and the stage were lots of round tables with fancily dressed people sitting at them. Along the walls were booth tables that had plants dividing each booth from the next. There were plant decorations all over the room. Hanging above the tables was a pretty chandelier.

Yusuke, Hiei, Flash, Hinote, Kuwabara, and Kurama had taken seats at a booth in the corner with a good view of the stage. It had a cushioned bench seat that curved around the table. Yusuke was sitting between Kuwabara and Hiei. Flash was sitting on Hiei's other side and Kurama was next to Flash. Panyo was sitting on Kurama's lap. It had taken some time but they had convinced the waiters that Panyo was just a very life-like doll.

The lights went out and all attention turned to the stage. The curtains drew back just enough for one person to fit through. The person stepped into the spotlight, revealing itself to be Autumn. She was wearing a dark blue sparkly sleeveless dress with matching shoes. She still had Harmony's ears and tail. She cleared her throat before starting to talk.

"Um...Hi?" She rubbed the back of her head nervously and laughed, "I'm sorry, I'm new at this so I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Um, I suppose I'm supposed to be announcing why you're here and stuff, but that doesn't really make very much sense since all of you know why you're here and all that..."

"Gee, Autumn really has no idea what she's doing, does she?" Hinote commented.

Kurama shrugged, "Maybe not, but she looks so cute when she's confused that she'll find a way to pull this off without anyone getting upset."

"...So yeah, you all know that you're here to watch the magic show that my friend Loki's going to put on. I bet you're all anxious to see if he pulls a bunny out of a hat or makes doves out of flowers, I know I am! I just adore bunnies! And I like doves because that's what my boyfriend always calls me but you didn't really need to know that..." Autumn poked the tips of her fingers together bashfully and blushed slightly.

A chuckle rose from the people in the audience. Kurama grinned, "See? I told you my little Hato-chan (Dove-chan) could pull it off."

Yusuke rolled his eyes, "I wish she'd hurry it up, though. None of us get to eat until the show is over."

"But everyone's already eating." Hinote pointed at the other people in the restaurant.

Yusuke pointed at Kurama, "He's not gonna let any of _us_ eat until Loki and Autumn join us."

"Oh." Hinote glared at Kurama, "You bastard."

Kurama rolled his eyes, "It would be rude not to wait for them."

"Since when are we ever not-rude?" Flash questioned.

"Since we entered the restaurant. Now shush, I want to hear Autumn speaking." Kurama turned his attention back to Autumn.

"Oh wow, it's Autumn speaking! It's not like you don't hear her speaking _every_ single day." Flash sighed in exasperation, "Some people are just too obsessive..."

"Shh!" silenced Kurama.

Flash threw a shoe at Kurama's head. It hit its target. He rubbed his head and looked at the shoe, "Hey...this is _my_ shoe! _FLASH!!_"

"SHH!" silenced some people at the nearby tables.

Hiei snickered, "Gee Kurama, I didn't know you were so disruptive."

Kurama glared at Hiei before turning back to the stage. Autumn was just finishing up a long speech that had nothing to do with anything, "...and that's how I found out that Shuichi thinks of me as a dove...Well, I guess I've spoken too much because someone back there is hissing at me to stop talking, so without further adieu...The magician, Loki!"

Autumn stepped aside as the curtains drew open completely and Loki jogged out on stage in his usual red suit outfit. He walked into the spotlight next to Autumn and took a bow. When he stood up he laughed and put his hand on Autumn's head, "Isn't she cute? It's hard to believe that this adorable young lady used to be a flea-bitten mongrel living on the streets. Yes folks, I transformed an ordinary mutt into this girl you see now. I'm that good."

Harmony had taken control again after finally waking up from her cell phone induced shock. Her ear was twitching and she was grating her teeth. Loki had just used four of the words that are forbidden from being used to describe Harmony: Adorable, flea-bitten, mongrel, and mutt. His death was assured. It was only a matter of waiting for the right moment to attack. Until that moment, the ningen would have control.

"Now then, for my first trick I'm going to need a volunteer from the audience..." Loki looked around at all the people eagerly raising their hands, "Someone that's not very important who's not going to be missed in the event that he or she gets transported to an alternate dimension never to be seen or heard from again."

Loki frowned as he saw that all hands had immediately gone down. The entire room was silent. Flash picked up her fork and used it to push over Kuwabara's ice water so that it spilled in his lap. Kuwabara let out a screech and stood up immediately. Autumn poked Loki and pointed at Kuwabara. Loki grinned.

"Excellent! The gentlemen with the rather embarrassing wet spot on the front of his pants! Will you please come up to the stage, sir?" Loki pointed at Kuwabara.

A spotlight fell on Kuwabara as he was standing there. Everyone turned to look and muffled laughter could be heard throughout the room because of the wet spot on his pants. Kuwabara glared at Flash. She smiled innocently and waved. He grumbled before walking to the stage and climbing up.

"Aw, did poor wittle Kuwabara-kun have an accident?" Autumn snickered.

Kuwabara glared at her, "Can it, mongrel."

"Oh that's it; you are so getting sawed in half." Harmony said with a growl.

Kuwabara laughed nervously. Loki pulled Kuwabara into the center of the spotlight, "Alright everyone, see this brave lad here? Well before your very eyes he will magically..._disappear_!"

"Woohoo! Then I can finally remove all of those pine scented tree thingies from my room!" Autumn announced happily.

"Me too! WOOHOO!" Flash yelled from the booth. She started doing a dance in her seat.

Loki sweat dropped, "Right, well anyway...What's your name sir?"

"Uh...Kuwabara..."

"Where are you from?"

"...Japan?"

"No baka, you're from Bulgaria." Autumn rolled her eyes.

"Oh...Bulgaria." Kuwabara nodded.

Yusuke threw a wax tomato at the stage, "BOO! Kuwabara, you suck!"

"Don't ruin the show you twerp!" Autumn yelled at Yusuke. Yusuke cowered in his seat as the audience sweat dropped, seeing the adorable girl become the crazy angered girl.

Loki put a handkerchief over Kuwabara's head. He then whistled to get everyone's attention, "I will start the trick now! You will hear me chanting things, these are my 'magic words' and they are of no importance to your puny human minds. This handkerchief over Kuwabara's head serves no purpose other than shielding his face from view so that you people won't have any problem looking up at the stage."

A murmur of appreciation came from the audience. Loki made a fist with his left hand except for his pointer and middle fingers. He held them up to his forehead and closed his eyes as he began to chant. A blue glow formed around Kuwabara and he began to levitate. Loki finished his chant and moved his fingers in a downward slash. Kuwabara exploded in an array of lights and candy scattered all over the room.

Yusuke and Hinote rushed to pick up the candy. Flash looked disgusted, "It's probably Kuwabara flavored."

"And how would _you_ know what Kuwabara tastes like?" Hinote asked Flash.

Flash started bashing his head into the floor, "YOU SICK PERVERTED MONKEY!!!"

Kurama and Hiei sweat dropped as they watched. They turned their attention back to the show and started clapping along with everyone else. Rather, Kurama started clapping. Hiei clapped once before deciding that it required too much effort and crossed his arms to glare. Loki took a bow.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Loki quieted the crowd and smiled, "For my next trick, I will saw my lovely assistant in half!"

"Nuh-uh." Autumn crossed her arms.

"What do you mean 'nuh-uh'?" Loki questioned.

"I mean, I'm not doing it. There's no way in hell I'm putting my safety in your hands while you have a saw." Autumn shook her head stubbornly.

Loki rolled his eyes, "Well what do you want me to do? Get in the box and let _you_ saw _me_ in half?!"

Autumn smirked evilly; letting her demon half take control, "Precisely."

"Oh fine. Change of plans, folks. Instead of me sawing my assistant in half, she'll be sawing _me_ in half." Loki told the audience.

"Woohoo!" Flash called, "I wanna see some gore!"

"Yay! Gore!" cheered Hinote and Yusuke.

Harmony wheeled out the sawing in half box and brought out a saw. Loki climbed in the box and shut the lid. The fox held up the saw and tried bending it to show everyone that it was a real saw. She had a sadistic grin on her face as she put the blade to the box and began sawing. Loki was talking the whole time.

"Now you see, I've never actually experienced this trick before. I've always wondered what it feels like to be sawed in – OW! MY SKIN! You're cutting into my flesh!!! That's not supposed to happen! Ow! Ow! Ow! STOP IT!!!! ARGH! Help me!!!!"

Harmony started laughing insanely. Kurama, despite the enjoyment he was getting, ran onstage and held Harmony back. She started struggling, "Nooo! Must saw in half! Must punish the barbarian!!"

Moments later, Kurama was just finishing bandaging Loki's wound. Harmony was standing off to the side in a straightjacket with chains on her feet to keep her from kicking and a muzzle on her mouth. Needless to say she was miserable. Loki laughed nervously.

"Well, I told you she was originally a flea-bitten mongrel...I'll just do one final trick before I end the show. In order to do this trick, I'll need this gentleman's assistance."

Kurama pointed at himself, "Me?"

"Yes you. Now, stand right in the center of the spotlight for me, please. Thank you. Now then, I'll just say a few words..." Loki began chanting and prancing around Kurama. When he finished chanting he sprinkled some glittery dust over the redhead. Everyone held their breath, anxiously anticipating what would happen next. After a couple moments of nothing happening, Loki scratched his head, "Odd, I thought for sure that would work..."

"You suck!" Yusuke yelled at Loki, "You should've made him incapable of speaking so that we wouldn't have to listen to anymore speeches! Boo! _Boo!"_

Loki shrugged, "Sorry everyone, I kind of wanted to give you a better show than that but I suppose I can't change the past so maybe next time. If there is a next time..."

Kurama walked over to Harmony and de-muzzled, unchained, and un-jacket-ified her. She stood there with her arms crossed, glaring at him, "You put a muzzle on me."

"You were out of control." Kurama defended.

"You put a_ muzzle _on me!" Harmony repeated.

Kurama rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm sorry?"

"_You put a muzzle on me!"_ Harmony growled.

Kurama took a piece of caramel out of his pocket and gave it to her. She squealed and hugged him. He smiled and led her to the table with the others. Loki soon joined them and they all ordered dinner. Everything was going smoothly. Yusuke and Kuwabara were eating spaghetti with meatballs. Hinote was eating ravioli. Flash and Autumn were eating meatless spaghetti. Loki was eating a turkey sandwich. Kurama was eating lasagna and Hiei had a soda. Panyo was eating a breadstick.

Flash sighed, "This is boring. Everyone's too good. Autumn, wear your dinner."

"Okee dokee!" Autumn saluted before picking up her bowl of spaghetti.

Kurama reached out a hand to stop her, "No, Autumn, don-!"

Autumn turned the bowl over on her head in order to wear it like a hat. All the spaghetti was hanging down from the bowl and sauce was dripping down her face. She was grinning happily. Kurama sweat dropped, "-t..."

Hinote, Yusuke, Flash, and Loki started to laugh. Hiei watched with mild amusement. Kurama was rubbing his head in frustration. Loki suddenly slammed his hand on the table, "I know why the last trick didn't work right! I didn't say 'Sminglefoof'!"

There was a puff of smoke and sitting in Kurama's place was Youko's four tailed silver fox form. The fox looked around at everyone and then down at himself before letting out a screech of horror equal in pitch to Autumn's squeal of delight.

* * *

Dream: ::chasing after the crab with a mallet:: I'll kill you!!

Zero: ::watching in amusement:: Well, since Dream is currently occupied chasing over-intelligent seashore wildlife, I suppose I'll have to wrap this up.

Dream: Stay still! I'm not going to hurt you! I'm going to crush you into tiny pieces!

Zero: Dream! Whatever happened to 'Thou shalt not hurt an animal'? ::quoting the book of Autumn::

Dream: ::freezes in mid-step:: ::falls to the floor:: Oh woe is me! What have I become?! Attacking a poor innocent little crab! Forgive me, crab! ::hugs the crab::

Crab: ::uses its claws on Dream's nose::

Dream: MY NOSE!!!! ARGH! YOU STUPID CRAB! ::chases crab again::

Zero: ::coughs:: Right, well, we hope this chapter makes up for the wait. Please review. Oh, and check out the fanfic that Dream and Winter –iel –o burzum are writing together. It's posted under the name 'Dream and Winter'.

Panyo: ::waves wing:: Pa Panyo Pa! (That's all folks!)


	6. A Fox in a Tub is Worth Two Peppy Peanut...

Dream: I realize that in the last chapter I basically promised to update more often. Knowing myself, this was a very stupid thing for me to promise. My interest in fanfics continued to be nonexistent. I will not promise anything this time. Instead, I will have Zero entertain you by dancing the hula.

Zero-standing in sand with a poorly painted beach background behind him and wearing a grass skirt, coconut bra, and a flower lei around his neck. Also wearing little flower leis on his ankles and wrists. Has hair down, making him look very much like a girl- E...eh! What is this!

Dream-in a street peddler's costume with a beard, one of those little monkey music box things, and an Italian accent- Dance, little monkey, dance -starts turning the handle on her box to make icky music play-

Zero-dances the hula with Hawaiian music playing in the background- What! I did not tell myself to dance!

Dream: I did-grins- With _this!_ -points at computer keyboard- I control you! MUAHAHAHA!

Zero: Oh, you'll pay for this. It may not be today, it may not even be tomorrow, but I can guarantee it'll be once I get my pay check -random guys whistle at him- Hey! Do you want to get your spinal cord ripped from your back!

* * *

_Last time_

Flash sighed, "This is boring. Everyone's too good. Autumn, wear your dinner."

"Okee dokee!" Autumn saluted before picking up her bowl of spaghetti.

Kurama reached out a hand to stop her, "No, Autumn, don!"

Autumn turned the bowl over on her head in order to wear it like a hat. All the spaghetti was hanging down from the bowl and sauce was dripping down her face. She was grinning happily. Kurama sweat dropped, "-t..."

Hinote, Yusuke, Flash, and Loki started to laugh. Hiei watched with mild amusement. Kurama was rubbing his head in frustration. Loki suddenly slammed his hand on the table, "I know why the last trick didn't work right! I didn't say 'Sminglefoof'!"

There was a puff of smoke and sitting in Kurama's place was Youko's four tailed silver fox form. The fox looked around at everyone and then down at himself before letting out a screech of horror equal in pitch to Autumn's squeal of delight.

_Now_

**A Fox in a Tub is Worth Two Peppy Peanuts**:

"So cuuuuute!" Autumn squealed as she hugged the fox tightly.

Youko grinned, already enjoying the attention he was getting. He noticed the spaghetti on Autumn's head and started to eat it. The people in the nearby tables had begun staring at the group of teens. Hinote blinked, "Wow, you turned Kurama into his fox form..."

"When will he change back?" Hiei asked.

"Err...I'm not sure..." Loki answered, "You see, as far as I know, the spell is permanent. I've never used it on living things before, only on dolls but they usually imploded. I'm actually really surprised that he survived."

Youko started to growl at the magician, _you were trying to kill me!_

"You were trying to kill him?" Autumn growled.

"No, no! Of course not!" Loki laughed nervously.

Flash let out a squeak of delight. "Do you know what this means?"

"Kurama can't go to school anymore?" Kuwabara asked.

"While that may be true, no one cares about school anyway! I was thinking more along the lines of us being able to enter the dog show now that Kurama is stuck in his fox form and can't protest." Flash smirked the smirk of one who is close to achieving their plans.

Harmony took over, "Oh joy! This means I get to do this!"

Youko whined as Harmony put the muzzle from before over his snout. _Come on, Harm, this isn't fair! I haven't done anything to deserve this!_

"What's the muzzle for?" Yusuke questioned.

"Revenge. I mean...it's to keep him from biting anyone when we groom him for the show." Harmony corrected herself quickly.

"Pfft, who said anything about _us_ grooming him? We're taking him to a pet salon. Let somebody else risk their fingers, I need mine for my world conquest plans." Flash crossed her arms and nodded.

The waiter came by their table, "Excuse me, I believe I told you earlier that animals of all sorts are not allowed inside the restaurant. Please leave immediately."

"Pa! Panyo pa pa pan!" Panyo yelled at the waiter from his seat atop Youko's head.

"Panyo! That's rude! What a good little puffy wuffy you are!" Autumn took the puffin and started to hug him. Panyo gave a happy chirp.

Hiei stood up and left abruptly. Everyone stared after him. Flash stood up, "Roughly translated, that means 'I'm sick and tired of being stuck in a confined area with all of you. I'm leaving. Follow me and your deaths shall be slow and painful.' That being said, let's go follow Hiei!"

"WOOHOO! ROAD TRIP!" Hinote and Autumn yelled.

The group got up and left the restaurant. They stood outside and looked around. Flash pointed at a nearby tree while nodding at Autumn. Autumn grinned and snuck over to the tree. She took a deep breath, "HIYA FLEA BOY!"

Hiei fell out of the tree in surprise and landed on the ground with a thud. He sat up and glared at Autumn, "What are you doing here?"

"Flash did it." Autumn pointed at Flash.

Flash walked over and pat Hiei on the head. "We're going to find a pet store that's still open at this time of night and you're coming with us!"

"What if I don't want to...?" Hiei was interrupted by Flash.

"_And you're coming with us_." Flash emphasized while grinning.

Hiei nodded solemnly. Youko had walked over to a nearby fire hydrant and was sniffing it. Just then a bum ran over, howling like a monkey, and hugged the fire hydrant. He started hissing at Youko. There was foam forming around the bum's mouth and one of his eyes was twitching. "Gets way frem me wife!" yelled the bum.

Youko whimpered and ran over to cower behind Autumn. Autumn pat his head, "Aww, is the wittle puppy fwightened by the man?"

Panyo hid his beak behind his wing and snickered at Youko. Youko growled at the little puffin. Flash pointed off into the distance, "To the pet store!"

With that, the group of five teens, two demons, a fox, and a puffin walked off down the street in the direction of the nearest pet store.

**A few hours and many pet stores later**:

"Argh! Who'd have thought that finding an open pet store would be so freaking difficult!" Flash yelled in exasperation after their search had proved futile.

"Well, it _is_ almost midnight. Almost all stores are closed by now." Hinote nodded.

Flash's eyes sparkled with a particularly evil plan. "Except for 7-11's..."

"Err..." The group exchanged looks, wondering what Flash's recent lack of coffee had done to her mind and how they should protect themselves from her.

Flash led her loyal subjects to a nearby 7-11. At the door, she turned around and held up a finger as she spoke, "Now remember, slaves, since it is the middle of the night, this quaint little store will be full of strange and sanity challenged individuals, some of which will be insomniacs who are addicted to caffeine. Be wary of where you walk and at all times stay close to each other. If one of you gets attacked, give the signal and I'll come to help you."

"What's the signal?" Loki asked.

"Are you kidding me? I'm not telling you people what the signal is! If I do, then that means I'll actually have to help you!" Flash laughed before turning around and walking inside.

The others exchanged looks before following her inside. The store was dark except for a bunch of candles which were arranged around the counter. Behind the counter were a couple of workers, though they could barely be seen in the dim light. They had large eyes which reflected the candlelight, creating the illusion that they were glowing. The workers let out a low inhuman hiss as the group passed by and reached out their claw like hands to try and grab them.

"This place is creepy..." Autumn whispered to her companions as they hurried past the counter.

A creature scurried in front of them on all fours. Panyo flew up to Autumn's head to cower there. Autumn put a hand on Youko's head as reassurance that he was there. Yusuke and Hinote walked closer together. Hiei was mentally taking notes so that once he began his conquest of the three worlds he could use these hideous creatures as part of his army. Loki was taking note of the effects of the candlelight for future shows. Kuwabara sniffed the air.

"Is that...hot dogs?" Kuwabara asked.

"Shh! Kuwabara you'll attract attention to us!" Loki hissed.

Kuwabara wandered off in the direction of the smell. Hinote stopped walking suddenly, "Where's Flash? We've been walking for a long time and still haven't found her. Not only that but we haven't even found the opposite wall yet. I'm starting to think there is no other wall!"

"Maybe the wall's just up ahead and we just have to keep walking." Autumn said optimistically.

"Face it Autumn, we're doomed! We're never going to survive this trip! We'll be torn limb from limb by hideous mutated humans and then eaten! No, we won't be eaten. We'll be chewed! Chewed and then vomited up as food for their hideous worm babies! We're going to die!" Hinote started twitching and looking around fearfully.

Autumn took out a flashlight and turned it on. She scanned the area ahead of them quickly. A few creatures on four legs hissed and scurried away. Autumn was able to see that there were bats sleeping on the ceiling of the store and there were stalactites and stalagmites (those things that hang from the roof of a cave and stick up from the bottom) around the store. The light landed on the wall which was pretty close to the group.

"See? I told you we were close to the wall. All we have to do is use my flashlight to find Flash and then we'll get out of here. It's no big deal. We'll all be fine." Autumn smiled.

Hinote let out a sigh of relief. Then the flashlight flickered and went out. Hinote screeched, "We're all going to die!"

"We're not going to die, Hinote. We're all going to be fine." Autumn assured.

At that moment Kuwabara started to scream loudly. Hinote hissed, "Does _that_ sound fine to you!"

"Was that Kuwabara?" Loki asked.

"Sounded like it." Yusuke responded.

"In that case let's ignore it and continue looking for Flash." Hiei stated.

Youko started to growl lowly at an approaching creature. It crawled a bit closer. Youko growled louder. He then pounced on it. The creature let out a screech and crawled away with Youko chasing it. Autumn whistled, "Youko heel! Bad fox! Come back!"

"And then there were five." Loki said. Panyo attacked the magician. Loki whimpered, "I mean six..."

"That's it! I'm not going down without a fight!" Hinote announced.

Hiei arched an eyebrow, "You're going to fight? With what weapon?"

"This one!" Hinote announced, taking out a camera and laughing insanely.

"You do realize we can't see what you're holding, don't you?" Loki questioned.

Hinote snapped a picture in Loki's face, blinding him with the flash. Loki started stumbling around holding his eyes. He tripped over an extended leg and fell flat on the floor. A bunch of the hideous creatures piled on top of him. Hinote let out a war cry and jumped into the pile, snapping pictures in every direction.

Autumn picked up a few bottles of Tabasco sauce, "It's time to fight for our lives!"

"Alright! Let's go!" Yusuke cracked his knuckles and then jumped into the fight with Autumn.

Hiei leaned against the counter and ate some potato chips as he watched. A few minutes of hissing, scratching, and biting later, the light turned on. The pile of fighters froze and looked up to see Flash with her finger on the light switch. She arched an eyebrow, "What in the seven hells are you idiots doing?"

Autumn had sunk her teeth into Yusuke's leg. Yusuke had his hands around Loki's neck. Hinote had a leg of Loki's and a leg of Autumn's in his grasp. He also had his teeth on Yusuke's neck. The four of them were tangled in a big ball of people. Hiei spontaneously burst out laughing. He then stopped quickly and his face regained its usual indifference. He ate a handful of chips.

"I leave you guys alone for two minutes and you've already resorted to cannibalism. I'm ashamed of you guys." Flash sighed.

"But we were fighting the evil creatures what came from the coffee mug!" Autumn protested, managing to free herself from the people ball.

"You mean them?" Hiei asked, pointing at a group of people cowering in the corner. They had large dark rings under their eyes and were crouched on all fours. They were hissing and screeching.

Yusuke stood up and rubbed his neck, "Damn, Hinote! For a minute there I thought you were actually trying to puncture my neck with your teeth like some kind of freaky vampire boy! Pretty crazy, huh?"

"Hey! I'm not freaky!" Hinote yelled. Autumn elbowed him. "Oh. And I'm not a vampire, I swear."

Flash held up a plastic bag, "Look, we've got what we came for, let's leave. Eh...where's the pooch?"

There was a shuffling in the corner and a silver ball of fluff was slid over and into the counter. The fluff uncurled to reveal Youko lying on his back with swirly eyes. He had his tongue sticking out of his mouth. Loki poked him with his foot. The fox whimpered and turned over.

Flash looked around at her bruised servants, "And where's Autumn's puffin thing?"

A bag of chips fell off of a shelf and started crawling towards them. It fell over with a squeak. Panyo pulled herself out of the bag and saluted Autumn, chattering something incomprehensible in puffonian.

"Alright, since we're all present and accounted for, let's go." Flash turned and opened the door.

"What about Kuwabara?" Loki asked.

"Who?"

"Kuwabara." Loki repeated.

Flash shook her head, "I'm afraid I don't know who you're talking about. I've never met a person named Kuwabara."

Loki looked at the others who were mumbling similar things to Flash. Kuwabara stumbled out from an aisle. He was limping, "Guys! Don't leave me behind!"

"Monster!" Autumn yelled, squirting Tabasco sauce in his eyes. Kuwabara fell on the floor in pain and the group ran outside.

"What's in the bag?" Hiei asked.

Flash held up a collar, leash, a bottle of dog shampoo, and dog conditioner. "If nobody's awake to groom our dog, we'll have to do it ourselves. Or rather, Autumn and I are going to stay at a safe distance while you, Hinote, Loki, and Yusuke groom our dog."

"That's not fair!" Hinote protested.

"Oh it's very fair. You see..." Autumn spun in a circle, magically transforming into professor Autumn. She pushed her lens-less spectacles up on her nose and pointed her pointer at the chalkboard that appeared. It had the equation 'Girls + Water Happy Perverted Fox' written on it with little doodles above it representing the words. "This equation is the deciding factor in this matter. As you can plainly see, it is not a good idea for Flash and I to get near the water while Youko's around."

"Why don't we just wait until morning?" Hinote suggested.

Flash hit Hinote on the head, "Stop questioning the power and wisdom of the writer!"

"What power? What wisdom? GAH! Why is my hair missing!" Hinote covered his now bald head with his hands.

"That's what happens when you mess with the writer." Autumn nodded.

Loki shivered, "This so called 'writer' must be a thing of pure evil..."

Kuwabara randomly appeared with the others. He grinned, "Hi guys!"

"Damn it! Look what you fools did!" Hiei yelled at them.

Youko started scratching his ear with his back foot. Autumn transformed back into Autumn. She snickered, "It looks like somebody needs a flea bath..."

"Don't tell me we have to go back into the 7-11." Hinote visibly paled.

"No. I've got some flea shampoo left over from the last time Autumn got caught by the dog catcher and stuck in the pound." Flash answered.

Everyone turned to stare at Autumn. She was imitating Youko by sitting on all fours and using her foot to scratch her ear. Panyo then decided to imitate Autumn. What an odd sight it would have been for any passersby had there been people actually awake and walking around that early in the morning: a four tailed fox, a girl, and a puffin sitting side by side while imitating each other.

"I miss my hair." Hinote sobbed.

"Here's a hat." Flash put a pink girly hat with a flower on Hinote's head. "Now let's get going to my house."

The gang walked away. A random large Viking armor clad woman came over and sang, "Moments laaaaaaaaaaaaater!"

Flash slowly opened the front door of her house and looked around. She tiptoed into the room and then motioned for the others to follow. They entered single file, tiptoeing and looking around for anything or anyone that might compromise their mission. They were almost at the stairs when Yusuke spotted a catnip mouse. Perceiving this small beady eyed toy as a threat, Yusuke fired a spirit gun at it. There was a loud crashing explosion as the blast vaporized the mouse and part of the floor. Flash stared with completely blank eyes and her mouth hanging open.

"Yusuke's gonna diiie!" Autumn sang, rocking back and forth on her heels.

Hiei hissed, "Nice job, detective. Not only did you make a gaping hole in the floor, but you've no doubt woken up the whole house!"

Yusuke's response was cut off by a ball of black fluff fell onto the floor in front of him. The fluff uncoiled, revealing Flash's cat. The cat hissed. His orange eyes flashed with fire. Yusuke laughed nervously, "Heh heh...nice kitty..."

"Flash, what was your cat doing on the ceiling?" Loki asked, looking up to see little puncture holes where the cat's claws had been stuck.

"Oh, he likes to sleep up there." Flash shrugged.

Loki arched an eyebrow, "On the ceiling?"

Flash rolled her eyes, "No, Loki, in heaven."

Meanwhile, the cat had jumped onto Yusuke's head. He swiped his paw at Yusuke's hair. It bounced off with a metallic clank. The cat blinked before trying again. The same thing happened. The cat went crazy and started slashing at the hair. There were many metallic sounds as the cat went crazy. Finally the cat gave up and slid down Yusuke's shirt to attack his back. Yusuke started screeching and running in circles. He fell on the floor and started rolling.

"YUSUKE! YOU'LL HURT MY CAT!" Flash screeched at the boy.

"Oh, so if your cat kills me, it's ok but if I hurt the cat it's not?" Yusuke asked unhappily.

"Duh! We've been through this before!" Flash responded.

Hiei had situated himself by Yusuke's head with a large cooking pot. He dropped this on Yusuke's head, instantly knocking him out. "Oops. Clumsy me, it slipped out of my hands."

Hiei was instantly hugged by Flash, "Hiei! You saved my cat! I love you!"

"Flash, I think you're choking him." Autumn pointed out as he watched Hiei turn plaid.

The cat crawled out of Yusuke's shirt and sat on his head. While the cat cleaned his paw, Kuwabara finally noticed there was a cat in the room. He smiled goofily and hugged the cat, "What a cute cat!"

Flash paled, "Eww! Eww! Get it away from my cat!"

The cat started to yowl piteously. He then extended his claws and started clawing in every direction, landing multiple hits on Kuwabara. Kuwabara started to scream but lacked the common sense to let the cat go. He continued holding the panicking cat until Autumn hit him on the head with a frying pan. The baka fell to the ground next to Yusuke. Autumn caught the cat out of the air.

Flash took her cat reluctantly, "Ok, let's go upstairs to the bathroom. Not only do we need to bathe Youko but we also need to bathe my cat."

At the word 'bathe' both Youko and the cat hissed and started trying to get away. Youko's front paws were tied together and so were his back paws. Autumn and Loki put a broomstick between his legs, making him look like a cooking pig. Autumn held the front end and Loki the back. Like this, they carried the fox up two flights of stairs.

Flash opened the door to her bathroom. The bathroom had white wallpaper with blue tile. The necessities were colored blue as well. The shower had blue curtains with white lotus blossom flowers on them. Flash walked over to the tub of the shower and turned on the water. Without waiting for it to heat up, Flash dropped the cat into the water. There was a yowl of complaint that was muffled by the water and bubbles rose to the surface from the submerged cat.

Loki sweat dropped, "And you yelled at Yusuke not to harm your cat..."

"That was before Kuwabara touched it." Flash responded.

Loki and Autumn walked over to the tub. Autumn let go of her end of the stick, allowing the fox to slide off into the water with a thud. Autumn poked at the motionless fox, "Maybe we shouldn't have dropped him in head first."

"Nah, it's better this way. He won't be able to do anything perverted." Flash nodded.

"Shouldn't we at least move him so he doesn't drown?" Loki questioned.

"Nah, it's better this way." Flash received a hit on the head by Autumn.

"If Youko drowns, you lose that money."

Flash gasped, "Get him out of the water, _now_!"

Autumn pulled the fox's head out of the water. She looked around, "Wait, where'd Hinote go?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since we left 7-11..." Flash stated, looking around. "And where's your puffin?"

**Meanwhile, on the other side of town**:

Hinote and Panyo were in a late night antique shop. Hinote was looking at the wigs they had on display. Panyo was lying on Hinote's head to prevent the boy's baldness from being seen. Hinote sighed, "I never thought I'd say this, but I miss that horrible curly hair of mine..."

"Pa!" Panyo cheeped.

"How about this one, sir?" The store worker asked, holding up an Elvis wig.

**Back at Flash's house**:

"How much shampoo do we use?" Autumn asked, holding up the bottle of shampoo.

Flash looked over the manga she was reading. A firm believer in not doing work when there are others to do it for her, Flash was leaning against the sink and reading her manga while Autumn, Loki, and Hiei attempted to bathe the animals. "I don't know. Youko's large, dump the whole thing in."

"Kay!" Autumn yelled happily, taking off the cap of the shampoo bottle and letting it all pour into the tub water. The shampoo immediately started forming bubbles.

"Are the bubbles supposed to be multiplying at such an exponential rate?" Loki asked.

"I'm not sticking around for this." Hiei grunted, standing up and walking towards the door. His cloak was grabbed by Flash's hand. He tried pulling away but her grip was strong.

Flash was still reading her manga. "You're not going anywhere until Mutt 2 and my cat are squeaky clean."

Autumn turned her head to glare at Flash with angry eyes. She growled, "I am not a mutt!"

"I never said you were. Now, if you have to be so defensive about it, I'll be forced to assume that you really are a mutt." Flash shrugged, still reading her manga.

"I am not, you stupid cat!" Autumn's demon half, Harmony, snapped.

"While you're at it, Hiei, put some flea shampoo on Mutt 1. Her outbursts of anger are no doubt due to the annoyance the fleas are causing her."

"I don't have fleas!"

Loki poured some of the flea shampoo over the head of the steaming fox. She turned slowly with a murderous expression on her face. Loki smiled and waved. Harmony turned around fully and reached for a weapon, "You have just sealed your fate, human. You will now feel the wrath of the fox!"

Harmony's hand closed upon the stick of something and she pointed it at the magician, revealing it to be...a plunger. Flash and Loki burst out laughing. Hiei chuckled slightly. Harmony growled in frustration and stuck the plunger on Loki's face. He started making muffled screaming sounds and pulling at the plunger. Flash laughed harder. Harmony smirked. Loki fell to the floor from lack of air.

"It looks like you guys could use some help." A calm voice said from the doorway.

* * *

Dream: Blah. Well, that's the end of that chapter. Don't expect chapter 7 anytime soon. I'm taking a week off from the internet for personal reasons. After that I'll try and update. I've got plans for chapter 7. 


	7. Scandalous Demon Love Affair?

Insert author's note here

* * *

_Last time_: 

"I don't have fleas!"

Loki poured some of the flea shampoo over the head of the steaming fox. She turned slowly with a murderous expression on her face. Loki smiled and waved. Harmony turned around fully and reached for a weapon, "You have just sealed your fate, human. You will now feel the wrath of the fox!"

Harmony's hand closed upon the stick of something and she pointed it at the magician, revealing it to be...a plunger. Flash and Loki burst out laughing. Hiei chuckled slightly. Harmony growled in frustration and stuck the plunger on Loki's face. He started making muffled screaming sounds and pulling at the plunger. Flash laughed harder. Harmony smirked. Loki fell to the floor from lack of air.

"It looks like you guys could use some help." A calm voice said from the doorway.

_Now_:

**Scandalous Demon Love Affair?**:

Flash, Hiei, and Harmony looked over to the door to see who their intruder was. Standing there was a man around Loki's height with long crimson hair that covered half his face and piercing golden eyes. He was wearing all black with a cape draped loosely around his shoulders. The smirk he wore revealed a long fang. The man currently had Panyo sitting on his head.

"Vlad. It looks as if there's a puffin shaped growth on your head. You should probably see a doctor about that." Harmony smirked.

Vlad looked up at the puffin sitting on his head. He glared at the fox. He then walked over and knelt down so he was face to face with her. "Harmony. It looks as if you haven't finished your flea bath. Let me help you with that."

Before Harmony could protest, Vlad dumped a bucket of water over her head. Her hair was plastered to her face, covering her eyes yet everyone could feel the glare emanating from her. The fox let out a small growl and pushed some of the hair out of her face so she could look the vampire in the eye. "Flash, where's your bug spray? There's an overgrown cockroach in your bathroom."

"Is the fox angry? Does she need a dip in the tub to cool her down?" Vlad cooed, grabbing Harmony's waist and lifting her up.

The fox gave a loud yip of protest as she struggled. Vlad grinned evilly as he moved the fox toward the bathtub. Flash snickered, "So does Youko know he's in the middle of a love triangle or are you going to wait until there are kits involved to tell him?"

Harmony and Vlad froze where they were. Vlad was holding Harmony in the air and Harmony had her nails dug into his shoulders. They looked at each other before hopping to opposite sides of the bathroom and growling at Flash. They pointed at each other, "I do not love that _thing!"_

"_Sure_ you don't. Next you're going to tell me the plunger covering Loki's face didn't magically disappear into thin air."

"The plunger _didn't_ disappear into...thin..." Harmony's sentence trailed off as she stared at Loki. He was sitting up without the plunger covering his face. He smiled and waved at the fox. Harmony looked around, "What the heck? The plunger disappeared!"

"And therefore the love triangle exists." Flash nodded.

Harmony waved her arms. Her cheeks were red as she protested, "Those are two entirely different things! The plunger has nothing to do with the love triangle – which, I'll remind you, does not exist – at all! I want to speak with my lawyer!"

"You are."

"No. You're the ningens' lawyer."

"And, according to this waver you signed, yours." Flash held up a piece of paper.

"When did I sign that?" Harmony raised an eyebrow.

Flash dismissively waved her hand, "Oh it was a couple weeks ago while I was holding caramel above your head."

Harmony hissed and waved a fist at the sky, "A plague upon the soul of the one who cursed me with this sweet tooth! A plague I say!"

"Hey are we going to wash this thing or not?" Loki asked, poking at Youko.

Youko stood up quickly while hissing at his invisible enemies. Being in a bathtub, Youko lost his footing and fell onto Flash's cat. The cat yowled and started scratching poor Youko to death. Youko whimpered and started flopping around like a fish out of water. He finally managed to jump out of the tub and attach himself to Harmony's head. The fox jumped off of Harmony's head in time to avoid the newspaper which Vlad was using to try and hit him. The newspaper instead hit Harmony.

"You missed." Hiei pointed out.

"No, I'm pretty sure I hit the target." Vlad scratched his chin. He hit Harmony with the newspaper again to make sure.

Flash watched as Youko ran out of the bathroom door followed by the cat. Yusuke and Kuwabara happened to be walking up the stairs at the exact moment Youko jumped down, causing a collision which sent the three of them tumbling down all the flights of stairs. The cat stared down the stairs at them. Flash cringed.

"If that hasn't woken anyone in the house up then I'm changing my name to Charlie and joining the circus." Flash stated.

The group waited a long time with no hint of stirring from the house's occupants. Harmony held her hand out to Flash, "Hello, Charlie! Congratulations on your new job at the circus!"

"Vlad, hit her for me." Flash said to the vampire.

"My pleasure." Vlad nodded before going to whack Harmony on the head. Harmony hopped back and into a Kung fu position. She slipped on the wet tiles and fell forward into Vlad. Vlad caught her instinctively and they stood there blinking for a while. A camera flash brought their attention to Flash. She quickly hid her camera behind her back and whistled innocently.

Harmony glared at Flash but remembered a promise Flash made about giving her caramel whenever she made Flash's sides split with laughter. She noticed the advantages of her position in Vlad's arms and snuggled against him. Vlad's face reddened and he choked out, "H.. Harmony? What are you...?"

"You know, Flash is right, we ought to tell Youko about our little affair soon." Harmony said in a suggestive voice, playing with the clasp on Vlad's cape.

Vlad gaped and took a step backward, "Af... affair? Umm..."

"Of course we can talk about this after your swim." Harmony smirked, using her position to push Vlad into the bathtub. Flash started laughing at the vampire.

Vlad sat up and glared at the fox under his soaked hair, "You're going to wish you hadn't done that."

"People, _please!_ Save the flirting until _after_ we've bathed the filthy animals!" Loki yelled.

Harmony looked at Flash, "Harmony get caramel?"

"Hmm...I don't know..."

"Oh come on! Look at that! It just screams 'Give caramel to Harmony'!" Harmony pointed at Vlad as he was trying to ring the water out of his cape.

Flash shrugged, "I was thinking that it screams 'Harmony's terrible at making friends' but hey, whatever makes you feel better about yourself."

Hiei, who had slipped out of the room without anyone noticing, came back in with the cat under one arm and the fox under the other. He dropped the animals into the tub. They made a clang sound on the tub bottom since the water which had been there originally was now on the bathroom floor. Loki turned on the water. A yowl was heard a minute later as the cat jumped out of the water.

"That water's fucking hot! Are you trying to cook me!" The cat pointed at Loki while standing on two feet on the bathtub rim.

"Is...Is my cat talking?" Flash blinked rapidly.

Vlad held some of his hair aside to stare at the animal, "I always knew there was something strange about that cat..."

"I need to stop hanging around Autumn and Hinote..." Hiei stated.

Loki grinned, "I can use you for a magic trick!"

The cat scratched the hand Loki extended towards him, "There's no way in hell I'm letting you use me as some kind of circus freak!"

Harmony glared sideways at Flash, "This is clearly all your fault for not giving me caramel."

"Clearly." Vlad rolled his eyes.

"Hey. Yous gonna use me to clean your friends ors not? I'm a very busy shampoo bottles and I got places to bes, sos if yous not gonna use me, I'ms a gonna go." The bottle of shampoo stated.

Loki pointed at it in horror, "It's possessed! Oh, I knew we shouldn't have bought anything from that haunted 7-11! There must have been a gateway into hell in there!"

Flash's eye was twitching as she stood there staring blankly into space. The cat dropped his front paws to his side as he stood on the bathtub and looked at Flash, "Flash? Are you okay?"

"Yeahs, lady, yous feeling okay?" The shampoo asked, also concerned.

"IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!" Flash screamed, covering her ears and running out of the bathroom into her room. She rushed over to a red box labeled 'In case of speaking objects'. She opened the box quickly and pulled out a steaming cup of coffee which was quickly drunk.

Flash became a chibi and held out the coffee cup with her eyes shut, her other hand a fist, and a huge smile on her face. She had little red ovals on her cheeks. "Coffee, the universal medicine which is guaranteed to solve 99.9 of life's problems!"

"So are you ok now?" Terminator asked when Flash came back into the bathroom. He quickly became flustered and sat down on all fours, "I mean...! Meow! Meow!"

"Good kitty. Back into the water with you." Flash pushed the cat back into the water. There was a sizzling sound and a yowl of protest.

Harmony sniffed the air, "Does anyone else smell something cooking?"

"Oh, it's just Youko." Hiei answered.

Vlad stared at the steaming bathtub, "Say, what would happen if Youko really did get cooked?"

"You would be trapped in a pit of eternal misery and pain for your treachery." Harmony smiled at the vampire.

"Feh, there's nothing you can come up with that will cause me eternal misery and pain." Vlad crossed his arms.

"Not even a pit whose walls are big screen TVs that show nothing but Carebears videos and whose floor is covered in soft, happy Carebears plush toys?" Harmony's smile grew wider as the vampire's face paled.

"Hang on, Youko! I'm coming to save you!" Vlad yelled before reaching into the scalding water to find the fox.

Loki pointed at the cold water knob, "You know you could..."

"Shh! This is entertaining!" Harmony interrupted.

There was a beep as if from a microwave that was muffled by Hiei's cloak. Hiei reached under his cloak and pulled out a steaming bag of microwavable popcorn. He opened it and ate a handful. When he noticed his companions were staring at him he glared, "What?"

"You gonna share that popcorn?" Loki asked.

Hiei held the bag away from him, "Get your own unexplained fanfic anomaly!"

"HOT!" Vlad yelled, pulling his hand out of the water after having left it there for staring at Hiei purposes.

"Little slow there." Flash told him.

The cat's paws reached out of the water and turned the knob for cold water. A sigh of relief was heard as the refreshing water cascaded into the tub. Loki took the bottle of shampoo, which protested immediately, "Hey! Hey! Whaddya think you're doin!"

"Excuse me a moment." Flash said, taking the bottle of shampoo and bashing it against the wall repeatedly before returning it to Loki, "That's better."

Loki dumped the shampoo into the bathtub. Harmony frowned, "Haven't we done this already?"

"Yes. Your idiot half poured in all the shampoo before." Hiei responded.

"Then what's that?" asked Vlad, meaning the shampoo.

Loki looked at the shampoo bottle to discover that it was not shampoo at all but _Herbal Essences Fruit Fusions!_

**_DUM DUM DUUUM!_**

He then peeled off the wrapper to discover that it wasn't Herbal Essences Fruit Fusions at all but _Mane N Tale!_

**_DUM DUM DUUUUM!_**

Loki then pulled off that wrapper to discover that it wasn't Mane N Tale at all but _Pink hair dye!_

**_DUM DUM DIIIING!_**

"WHAAAAT!" Hiei yelled, "I've been using pink hair dye as shampoo! How did _that_ happen!"

Harmony held a hand over her mouth to hide her snickering, "Kekeke! I couldn't resist!"

"HARMONY!" Hiei yelled at the fox.

"Well at least you pushed me into the water _before_ the dye was in it." Vlad smiled. Harmony pushed him back into the tub.

Vlad climbed back out and glared down at her. Harmony smiled sweetly at him. Youko hopped out of the tub with Terminator clinging to his back. The fox shook the water droplets off of himself and nearly shaking the cat off as well.

"Well he certainly doesn't look pink." said Flash.

"Perhaps the dye didn't work?" Loki suggested.

Hiei sighed in relief, "Then my hair's not going to turn pink."

"Neither is mine!" Vlad also sighed in relief.

"Your hair is already pink." Harmony rolled her eyes.

"It's red!" Vlad glared.

Harmony held up a computer monitor which had a pie chart on it. The chart was titled 'Vlad's hair color as documented by the authoress'. A slice representing 15 was labeled fuchsia (for shading). Another slice, representing 35 was labeled red. The other half of the graph had two slices of equal percentage: Pink and dark pink. "See? It's pink."

Vlad stared. He then took the screen and let it smash on the bathroom floor. Another one appeared floating by his face. He tried to grab it. Three more appeared floating around his head followed by five more, all saying the same thing on their screens: 'PINK!' Vlad held his head and screamed, "ARGH! MY HAIR IS NOT PINK!"

"It is now." Loki stated.

Indeed, the Loki was correct. Vlad's hair had become a vivid shade of hot pink, along with his clothing. Hiei's hair had also turned pink. Terminator and Youko suffered the same fate. Loki, Flash, and Harmony had pink speckles on their clothes from where the water Youko had shaken from himself had touched them.

The cat, fox, fire demon, and vampire let out a howl of remorse at the same time. Loki, Flash, and Harmony clamped their hands over their ears to block out the sound. Local dogs started barking. A neighbor's car alarm went off while another neighbor's car spontaneously burst into flames and halfway across the world some British men had tea.

Amazingly, everyone in Flash's house remained asleep.

* * *

Dream: Alrighty then! It didn't take me a month to update this time! It's sort of a short chapter but I wanted to leave it at that for now. 

Zero: Other than the standard disclaimer which can be found in the previous chapters, Dream does not own Carebears, Herbal Essences Fruit Fusions or Mane N Tale.

Dream: Yep! Now, before I leave you, I have a poll for you, faithful readers:

**Does Harmony deserve caramel?**

**A.** Yes.

**B.** No

**C.** Tie her to a dog sled and use a fishing pole to hold the caramel in front of her. My, what classy transportation you have!

**D.** Nooo comment.

**E.** Marry me!

Zero: Personally, I vote C.

Dream: Yeah, me too. Well, please vote!


	8. Gimme Caramel!

**Place**

**Chapter**

**Here**

**l l  
V  
**


	9. Iditarod, Demon Style

Dream: So, yeah, the temporary fill-in chapter was for my amusement and so that I could get caramel from Winter, who's promised to give me caramel every time I update. I had trouble getting her to agree to give me caramel for that chapter.

Zero: As for the poll, the vote is unanimous: Harmony's going to be a sled dog.

Harmony: Oh, it's a dream come true for me! I've always wanted to be publicly humiliated!

Dream: Isn't it wonderful?

Zero: On with the humiliation!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Last time_

Indeed, the Loki was correct. Vlad's hair had become a vivid shade of hot pink, along with his clothing. Hiei's hair had also turned pink. Terminator and Youko suffered the same fate. Loki, Flash, and Harmony had pink speckles on their clothes from where the water Youko had shaken from himself had touched them.

The cat, fox, fire demon, and vampire let out a howl of remorse at the same time. Loki, Flash, and Harmony clamped their hands over their ears to block out the sound. Local dogs started barking. A neighbor's car alarm went off while another neighbor's car spontaneously burst into flames and halfway across the world some British men had tea.

Amazingly, everyone in Flash's house remained asleep.

_Now_

**Iditarod, Demon Style**:

"Calm down. I think I know someone who can help us." Flash said.

Harmony paled, "Oh no...not _her!_ Please say you're not talking about _her!"_

"Her?" Loki asked in confusion.

Harmony waved her arms in the air frantically, "Flash! We promised never to speak of_ her_ ever again! There is no way I'm going back to visit that lunatic! Never ever again!"

"Come on, she's your aunt."

Loki looked to Harmony. The fox waved a hand dismissively, "_Autumn's_ aunt. _My_ aunt is dead...thankfully."

"Someone has family issues." Yusuke stated as he and Kuwabara walked into the bathroom.

Kuwabara stared at the whimpering Hiei and Vlad. He scratched his chin and looked at them long and hard. "Hmm...something's different about you two... Did you finally get hearts?"

"Dear lord of caramel and all that is sugary sweet! Did Kuwabara actually make a fair attempt at humor?" Harmony gasped.

"Huh? I'm serious, did they get hearts?" Kuwabara persisted.

Flash sweat dropped, "No, that's just his stupidity showing."

Meanwhile, Yusuke was glaring at Harmony. "I can't believe you died them pink while I wasn't here to watch!"

"Why is it that when someone gets their hair died or gets any sort of prank pulled on them everyone suspects me of doing it?"

"You're _always_ the one that did it." Vlad pointed out with a glare.

"Not true!" Harmony protested.

Vlad crossed his arms, "Name one time that you didn't do the pranking."

"That time you locked Autumn in a small cabin with Kuwabara."

"That doesn't count, it was revenge." Flash stated.

Harmony scratched her head, "Well..."

**Flashback**:

Yusuke, Kuwabara, Flash, Hiei, Hinote, and Autumn were sitting in Kurama's living room waiting for him to finish getting ready for their mission. Kurama's stepbrother was dancing around all excited-like. Suddenly there was an ear piercing scream from the bathroom. The teens exchanged looks before dashing upstairs. Autumn went to push the bathroom door further open but it was slammed in her face.

"Don't look at me! I'm hideous!" Kurama's disgruntled voice came from the other side of the door.

"Oh come on! It can't be that bad, pansy! I mean, nothing can be more hideous than Kuwabara!" Flash's statement was met with mumbled agreement from her friends.

"Yeah! It can't be more hideous than me!" Kuwabara repeated before frowning, deep in thought. "Wait...FLASH!"

Autumn knocked on the door again, "Kurama?"

"I'm never coming out again!"

"Will you at least tell us what happened?" Hinote questioned.

Kurama managed to respond between sobs, "I'm...I'm **_BALD_**!"

**Back to Reality**:

"I wasn't responsible for that." Harmony nodded.

Vlad grumbled, "Well, that's just one time. Besides, I'm still not sure that you're really innocent of that crime..."

"Well, what about the time that..." Harmony began.

**Flashback (years and years ago in the demon realm)**:

Youko was staggering around with a blindfold on. He had a large stick in his hands which he was swinging around like a maniac. His tongue was sticking out of his mouth in concentration. The stick finally connected with something that wasn't a tree. It was a squishy thing from the feel of it. Youko poked it. It jiggled. He lifted up a corner of his blindfold and looked at it. It was a large, furry, ape demon with goat horns on its head. It glared down at the fox.

Youko's ears dropped back, "Eep..."

**Back to the present**:

Vlad shook his head, "You forgot part of the story..."

**Vlad's Flashback** **(demon realm)**:

Harmony was spinning Youko around by his shoulders. He was wearing the blindfold and clutching the large stick. "Now, just don't peek. I'm going to spin you in circles and when I let go..."

"I get candy?" Youko asked hopefully.

"No... You start swinging around until you hit the piñata."

"...And then I get candy?"

"Yes, Youko, then you get candy." Harmony finished spinning him.

Youko gave a small hop of glee. Unfortunately, this caused him to fall over since he was disoriented and dizzy. He quickly stood up with a determined expression and started waving the stick around.

"Let me guess, you told Youko that you got him a piñata again?" Vlad questioned the smirking Harmony.

"Yuup." Harmony responded.

Vlad rolled his eyes, "Fifth time?"

"Twelfth."

"How long will it take him to realize there's no piñata?"

"He still thinks the other eleven piñatas are out here somewhere."

Vlad sweat dropped, "How long will it take him to give up?"

Harmony shrugged, "Last time I found him hanging by his shirt on the side of a cliff two weeks later, still swinging the stick."

Youko was staggering around with a blindfold on. He had a large stick in his hands which he was swinging around like a maniac. His tongue was sticking out of his mouth in concentration. The stick finally connected with something that wasn't a tree. It was a squishy thing from the feel of it. Youko poked it. It jiggled. He lifted up a corner of his blindfold and looked at it. It was a large, furry, ape demon with goat horns on its head. It glared down at the fox.

Youko's ears dropped back, "Eep..."

The goat-monkey opened its humongous mouth and let out a deafening roar matched in deadliness only by the smell of its breath. Youko stood there with his eye twitching. The lifted corner of the bandana fell back over his eye. He screamed and started running away, the goat-monkey close at his heels.

Vlad stared with wide eyes, "Shouldn't we go help him!"

"WOOHOO! Go for the jugular!" Harmony was cheering after the beast.

**Back to the present**:

Harmony sweat dropped, "That's crazy talk! You must be crazy! I never did that!"

_There were no piñatas...?_ Youko's jaw dropped in horror.

"You knew Youko when he was in demon world?" Yusuke asked Vlad.

Vlad realized his hidden identity was compromised, "Eh...no. No I didn't."

"Oh, ok. By the way, who are you?" Yusuke narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

Vlad was about to respond when Harmony cut him off. "He doesn't need to reveal his name."

"Why not...?" Kuwabara blinked.

Harmony held up the end of Vlad's now pink cape, "Because he's wearing a cape, _duh!_"

Yusuke and Kuwabara exchanged clueless expressions. Harmony sighed, "Everyone knows that any character in an anime, manga, fanfic, or etc. who is wearing a cape is automatically excused from revealing his true identity to those around him. It's a known fact that characters are more than willing to give their complete and total trust to a complete stranger wearing a cape but won't even dare to place that same level of trust in ordinary people that they've known for a while. Therefore, since Vlad is wearing a cape, you two don't have to know that his name is Vlad, he's a vampire, and he's the demon form of Hinote. You just have to know that he's the mysterious caped figure that this fanfic series has been lacking since the beginning."

Vlad sweat dropped, "But you just..."

"Wow, you know that makes a lot of sense. I'm sorry I asked what your name was, Mysterious Caped Stranger!" Yusuke bowed in apology.

Kuwabara followed suit, "Yeah, we'll never try and find out anything about you, ever again!"

Vlad's sweat drop multiplied. He turned to Flash, "You and Harmony were discussing Autumn's aunt...?"

Flash stared at the vampire blankly for a moment. "Oh yeah... Anyway, Autumn's aunt, Ellema, is kind of crazy."

"Kind of?" Harmony questioned Flash's use of words.

"Ok, she's extremely crazy and coming from us that means a lot." Flash pointed her thumb at her and Harmony.

"So...this Ellema woman can help us not be pink?" Hiei asked.

Flash shrugged, "Well, she's really good with potions and stuff so yeah..."

"Well then, let's get going." Vlad grinned with hope.

"First I want something to hide the pink of my hair." Hiei stated.

Vlad looked down at his pink clothes, "And I need some non-pink clothes."

"Hmm..." Flash scratched her head. She smirked and left the room. Moments later she returned with a box for Hiei and a box for Vlad. She ushered everyone out of the bathroom so that Vlad could change. Hiei simply held the box in his hands while he waited with the others in Flash's room. Since it had been given to him by Flash, he was afraid to open it.

Vlad stomped back into the room and pointed what appeared to be a ruler at Flash. "You expect me to wear _this_!"

Flash and Harmony tried to stifle their laughter. Loki, Yusuke, and Kuwabara didn't even bother trying to hide their amusement. Hiei stared in horror first at Vlad and then at the box in his hands. Youko let out a bark of laughter. Vlad glared at everyone. He was wearing a nun's robe and had his pink hair tucked under a nun's hat.

"Hey, it's either that or the pink." Flash snickered.

Vlad grumbled and crossed his arms. "Fine."

Everyone turned to Hiei. Hiei put aside the box, "I think I'll pass on the hat."

"Suit yourself." Flash shrugged.

"So, how are we going to get to Ellema's house?" Yusuke asked.

Flash smirked and her eyes shone with that 'somebody's going to hate me' light, "You'll see."

The group exchanged looks and gulped as one. Harmony shivered, "Kitty cat's planning something evil..."

"For the last time, I'm a _lion_, mutt! A lion!" Flash emphasized her words by hitting Harmony with a rolled up newspaper.

Harmony whimpered. The angered Flash led her followers down the stairs into the kitchen where the housekeeper was patching up the hole Yusuke had made in the floor. She looked up, "Good morning, everyone! Do any of you have any idea how this hole got here?"

"He did it." Yusuke pointed an accusing finger at Kuwabara.

Trish, the housekeeper, frowned, "What an awful thing to do, Kuwabara!"

"But..." Kuwabara began to protest.

"Yeah, yeah, it's horrible. How could you? Can we go now?" Vlad rolled his eyes.

Trish blinked, "I didn't know you were friends with a nun, Flash..."

"Oh yeah, I just met her yesterday. She's real nice." Flash grinned.

Vlad glared at her, "Flash, I hate you."

"Gasp! How un-nun-like of you!" Harmony feigned shock.

Vlad turned his glare to her, "But I hate you more."

Youko walked over to the door and pawed at it, waiting to be released. Terminator was sitting on the fox's head. Flash told Trish that she was going to run some errands for her friend and that she'd probably be back late. Then she and the others left the house.

Yusuke looked at the empty driveway, "Are we walking?"

"Nope. I've got a much better idea..." Flash entered her garage leaving the others waiting in fear. She came back out with a dogsled which had a small wheeled cart attached which looked like it could easily hold six or seven people. Yusuke and Kuwabara hopped into the cart and settled down followed by Loki and Youko. Hiei and Vlad eyed the cart uncertainly.

"Is it safe?" Vlad asked.

"Of course!" Flash nodded.

Hiei arched an eyebrow at the empty harness in front of the dogsled. "How is this thing going to move?"

"Harmony's going to pull it in her fox form."

"I'm _what_? No way!" Harmony shook her head.

Flash held up a bag of caramel, "Not even for a caramel?"

Harmony's eye twitched, "Curse my sweet tooth..."

Flash grinned as Harmony turned into her fox form. She was a bit smaller than Youko with pure black fur and eight tails. The fox stepped over to the harness and Flash put it on her. Hiei and Vlad climbed into the cart with the others. Flash took her place in the dogsled and attached a caramel to a fishing pole she had with her. She dangled the candy in front of the fox's nose. "Mush!"

And oh, did Harmony mush.

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Dream: Yeah, I know it's short but I'm going away to Boston this Friday for AnimeBoston so I wanted to get this done before then. I'll try and make the next chapter super long to make up for it. Oh, and if anybody's going to be at AnimeBoston as well, maybe you can try and find me. On Friday I'll be wearing feathery black cat ears and probably a Sesshoumaru shirt. On Saturday, I'll be wearing a black Chinese jacket with a peony in the center and Sunday I'll probably have a panda. So, yeah, I'd love to meet people. My badge is going to say Harmony. Ask if I'm Dream and once it registers in my brain that I am, indeed, Dream I'll be happy.

Zero: Review, please.

Harmony: I better get that caramel next chapter...


	10. Dude, Where's my Dogsled

Dream: Welcome to the Author's note! Today we've got a special gu– Oh! Hedgepig woke up!

Zero: ...Hedgepig...?

Tenka (the special guest star; you may remember him from such fanfics as 'Echoes in the Wind' and 'Meeting Thine Pixilated Doom'): Her stupid little Digipet thing.

Dream: Hedgepig isn't stupid ((hugs digipet)) He didn't mean it, Hedgepig!

Zero: Oh, I get it. Tenka's jealous of the...thing...

Tenka: I am not! Why would I be jealous of an electronic, pixilated piece of garbage?

Dream: TENKA! How could you say such a thing about my precious little Hedgepig? I'm disappointed in you! Go to your cage!

Tenka: ((groan)) Yes, mother...

Zero: Err...On with the fanfic...?

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_Last time_:

Hiei arched an eyebrow at the empty harness in front of the dogsled. "How is this thing going to move?"

"Harmony's going to pull it in her fox form."

"I'm what? No way!" Harmony shook her head.

Flash held up a bag of caramel, "Not even for a caramel?"

Harmony's eye twitched, "Curse my sweet tooth..."

Flash grinned as Harmony turned into her fox form. She was a bit smaller than Youko with pure black fur and eight tails. The fox stepped over to the harness and Flash put it on her. Hiei and Vlad climbed into the cart with the others. Flash took her place in the dogsled and attached a caramel to a fishing pole she had with her. She dangled the candy in front of the fox's nose. "Mush!"

And oh, did Harmony mush.

_Now_:

**Dude, Where's my Dogsled**:

So, around this time, Mr. Norman Smith was stuck in traffic. Alas but it is a cruel fate which has befallen everyone's favorite Random Neighbor Man! Poor Norman Smith; to be in traffic is a horrible thing! The unmoving lanes packed with cars - each driver glaring at the car in front of them, wishing it would spontaneously combust or something of the sort - just seem to suck out your very soul! It's all just too horrible for words! Why, the very mention of 'traffic' is enough to send shivers up the spine of any driver. I admire you, Norman Smith, for surviving so long.

Yes, fate cannot be much crueler to this poor soul. Oh? Your favorite radio station has been replaced with an elevator music station? How can this be! Who could possibly be so cruel! What's this? A phone call? Oh dear! You'll be fired if you don't get to work soon? You poor, poor soul... But take heart! For your day will soon be brightened by a heavenly visitor...

"BWAHAHAHA! Look upon my glory and envy me! For I am God, and God does not get stuck in traffic! And you, too, can experience the joy of not being stuck in traffic! All you have to do is hand over your car (and any other possessions I deem necessary) to me! Then you will be free! Aside: and I will be rich!"

Norman Smith looked to his right to find the source of the voice. There was Flash, steering her fox driven wagon over people's cars like a maniac. Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Loki were clinging to the sides for dear life. Hiei, being little, had nearly blown away, but managed to catch hold of Vlad's hair at the last moment. Vlad had one hand on his hair and one on the wagon. His eyes were tearing from his hair being pulled. His hat had long since flown away. Youko and Terminator were digging their claws into the wagon.

"Oh, please God! Just let me survive this trip and get back to my Yukina in one piece! That's all I want!" Kuwabara yelled to the sky.

"God's busy denting people's cars and shamelessly promoting becoming a hermit for the sake of making God rich right now. Please don't leave a message; God doesn't care about you anyway." Flash responded.

Yusuke rolled his eyes, "I think he was talking about the real God."

"I _am_ the real God, Yusuke."

"No, you're just Flash."

"Yusuke, I have demonic minions. Therefore, I must be God."

"God doesn't have...mmf!" Yusuke's protest was interrupted by a stressed out cat being thrown at his face. Terminator immediately dug his claws into Yusuke's scalp. "Aagh! Cat...claws...owies!"

"Boy, I'll tells ya, some peoples are just plain nuts."

Norman Smith directed his attention to the coffee cup in his hand. There was a mini potbellied man in a pink ballerina leotard and tutu with pink ballerina shoes. He was holding a wand with a star at the end and had pink fairy wings on his back. He also had a cigar hanging out of his mouth.

Norman Smith blinked, "Who are you?"

"I'ms the coffee fairy. I'm here to grant you wishes and crap. So whaddya want, buddy?" The Fairy responded.

Norman Smith sighed. He calmly rolled down his window and threw his coffee out. The fairy's voice echoed as he and the cup fell towards the pavement, "F you, buddy!"

"COFFEE!" Flash yelled, turning her wagon to chase the falling coffee.

"FLASH! What the hell are you doing! Are you _trying_ to kill us all!" Hiei screamed at her.

Vlad hissed, "Flash forced us all to get life insurance and name her as the sole benefactor, remember? If we die, she gets all of that money."

"Damn!" Hiei growled.

Flash was laughing insanely. She steered the wagon off the highway after the coffee.

**Some time of aimless running later**:

Flash parked her wagon outside of a Gas Station Service Mart. Harmony collapsed onto the ground panting heavily. Flash poked the fox with her foot. She looked over at the people in the wagon. They were all frozen in shock, their mouths twisted into horrified positions suggesting that their voice boxes had died from all the screaming. Flash shrugged and walked inside the mart.

"Hey, how does one get to Wyoming from here?" Flash asked the cashier.

The cashier blinked and repeated with a southern accent, "...'Why-oh-ming'...?"

"Yeah, it's a state. You know...Wyoming."

The cashier shrugged and shook his head. Flash sighed. She walked over to a rack of maps so that she could find out where they were. Some random man ran into the mart, "Ya gotta see this! There's a wagon out here drawn by a fox with eight tails! An' it hisses when ya poke it!"

Flash immediately stuck the map and a bottle of water into her pockets before following the cashier outside. There was a group of people crowded around the wagon poking at Harmony. Harmony was hissing and snapping at people. The others were still in shock. Flash shoved her way through the crowd, "HEY! Get away from my marmoset!"

"Marmoset? That ain't no marmoset, it's a fox!" A person responded. To his neighbor he whispered, "What's a marmoset?"

"No, my friends, that is a marmoset. Marmosets are very vicious creatures that were created by God in order to punish those who defy God's will. By poking and tormenting God's creature you are invoking God's wrath. You will be cursed forever. Please run away in fear in an disorderly manner so as to maximize injuries." Flash nodded as she finished.

The crowd exchanged looks before walking away. Harmony gave Flash a look which clearly said 'A marmoset?' Flash shook her head and smiled. She then hopped back into the dogsled and held the fishing pole in front of Harmony's face again, causing the fox to take off once more.

While Harmony was running, Flash was looking at the map. "Hm...According to this, we're somewhere in Colorado. To get to Wyoming, we need to go...hmm...this way...but that'll take too long. Let's take a short cut through Rocky Mountain National Park! Mummy Range sounds like a nice pleasant place."

And so, Flash steered her wagon towards the Rocky Mountain National Park. At the entrance, there were some...problems.

"What do you mean I can't go in? The park's supposed to be for public enjoyment!" Flash hissed.

The Park Ranger shook her head, "I'm sorry, but you can't bring those animals in here."

"They aren't animals! They're my family members in costumes! How many times do I have to tell you?" Flash responded.

The Ranger looked at the animals. Youko was sitting on his hind legs with his front paws together and looking at the sky. He was making little yip noises, making it seem like he was saying a prayer. Harmony was sitting up and using a paw to bat at the caramel that was hanging above her head. Terminator still had his claws digging into Yusuke's scalp. The Ranger looked back at Flash with a raised eyebrow.

Flash smiled widely, "You're not buying this, are you?"

"No."

"Well, then...Holy Crap! Is that Bigfoot?" Flash pointed into the distance.

The Ranger crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at Flash, "I'm not going to fall for that."

The Ranger was suddenly knocked unconscious by the hand of a large furry creature. The creature gave Flash a thumbs up before walking away. Flash waved, "Thanks Bigfoot!"

Yusuke, Vlad, Hiei, Loki, and Kuwabara stared blankly at the retreating Bigfoot. They then looked at each other before laughing nervously. Flash then held the caramel further in front of Harmony so that she would chase it again.

"Flash, are you sure this is a good idea? What if we get lost?" Loki asked.

"Don't worry! You've got God with you! God never gets lost!" Flash assured.

**Some time of being lost later**:

Vlad's voice took on a mocking tone, "'don't worry! God never gets lost!' Flash, I'm going to kill you."

"We're not lost, Vlad. We're just taking an unscheduled scenic detour." responded Flash.

Kuwabara grinned, "I love unscheduled scenic detours!"

"Kuwabara really isn't very smart, is he?" Loki questioned.

Hiei snorted, "If you're just noticing this now, then _you_ really aren't very smart."

"Arroo!" Youko whined, rolling around on the bottom of the wagon.

"What's with him?" Yusuke asked.

Vlad wrinkled his nose in disgust, "Flash, for the sake of my sanity, please stop."

"But we still have a long way to go..." Flash blinked, looking back.

Vlad pointed at Youko, "Unless you want to be pulling a wagon which reeks of the scent of un-potty trained fox, you'll stop."

Everyone looked horrified at the fox before screaming to stop the wagon. Flash immediately did so. Youko hopped out and walked off into the bushes. Harmony settled down to take a quick fox nap. All that running without getting caramel had really worn her out. Her ear twitched as she heard Youko coming back to the wagon. He took a short detour over to where Harmony was harnessed to the sled and sniffed at her. A low growl came from the napping black fox. Youko whined.

"Hey, hey, stop harassing the sled dog! I need that thing in good humor so that I can further my plans of world domination! Shoo!" Flash waved a hand at Youko.

Youko growled at Flash. Vlad coughed, "I'm not sure, but I believe what he's trying to say is 'She's _mine_ and I can harass her if I want to!' Of course, if I'm right than Harmony should get up to bite at him soon."

Indeed, Vlad was correct. Harmony sat up and snapped at Youko. Youko whimpered and hopped back into the wagon. Flash grinned, "Good mongrels. Now, let's continue on our way!"

"But we're lost." Loki pointed out.

"_Unscheduled scenic detour!_ Get it through your heads: God does not get lost! This is all part of my plan!" Flash threw a shoe at Loki, knocking him unconscious.

_My shoe!_ Shuichi yelled in Youko's head. Youko picked up the shoe from where it landed after bouncing off Loki's head. He then proceeded to chew on the shoe.

Hiei was using two of his four belts to secure himself to the wagon. He was not going to allow himself to fly away again. Vlad spotted some hikers and waved at them, "Excuse me! Can you tell us how to get to Wyoming from here?"

"Um...Wyoming's in _that_ direction." One of the hikers pointed in the opposite direction.

Vlad looked at Flash, "I told you we were lost."

"Hey, are any of you interested in buying a vampire? You can donate him to science and become real famous. Or you could resell him on eBay. He's sure to be a hit with cult followers." Flash smiled at the hikers. They exchanged looks before walking away quickly.

Vlad frowned at Flash. Hiei harrumph-ed, "Why don't _you_ sell him on eBay? It'll solve your money problems."

"Hey, yeah! And to save money I can get a box without air holes!" Flash grinned widely at the thought of getting rich _and_ getting rid of Vlad at the same time.

Harmony barked in laughter. Vlad hissed at her. Flash whistled happily as she turned the wagon around and headed in the direction the hiker pointed. She then sped ahead, going as fast as Harmony's legs would take them. And thus, the group reached Mummy Range by nightfall.

"Where are we?" Kuwabara asked.

"Mummy Range. We just need to pass through here then we'll be close to the exit. Then we'll travel in Colorado for a while longer until we get to Wyoming. Then we have to go to the very north of Wyoming." answered Flash with a nod.

"Where are we going, anyway?" Yusuke questioned.

Flash grinned, "To visit Autumn's aunt in Bonanza!"

"There's actually a place called Bonanza? That's sad. And who names a mountain range 'Mummy Range'?" Vlad wondered aloud.

**Elsewhere**:

Some random chipmunk with a bowtie is sitting in front of a computer chattering away pointlessly.

**Back to the story**:

"And why are we even in Colorado? We could've just gone straight from New York to Wyoming! But nooo, we have to somehow wind up in Colorado!" Vlad continued complaining.

Flash sweat dropped, "Just go along with it. If we were to just skip right to being at Autumn's aunt's house, the story would get boring."

"That's true...but still..." Vlad sighed.

Kuwabara screamed and pointed ahead of them at the mountains they were approaching, "Mummies!"

"Kuwabara, mummies don't exist." Yusuke explained.

Vlad shook his head, "Actually, Yusuke, mummies do exist. The Ancient Egyptians used mummification to preserve the bodies of the dead for the trip to the afterlife. Even today, mummies are still being discovered."

Everyone stared at Vlad. Vlad narrowed his eyes, "Well, since Kurama's not here, _somebody_ had to say it."

Muttered agreements came from the group. Kuwabara shook his head, "No, guys, I'm really serious. There are mummies walking towards us."

"Kuwabara, even if there _were_ mummies around here, which there aren't, they certainly would not be _walking_ since they're dead." Flash responded.

"What about me?" Vlad asked.

Flash blinked, "What _about_ you?"

"Well, technically _I'm_ dead, but _I_ can walk." Vlad explained.

Flash narrowed her eyes at him, "Yeah well...you're a freak of nature. God doesn't like you. So shut up."

"But..."

Flash stuck her tongue out at him. Meanwhile Yusuke and Kuwabara were looking around the wagon in fear. There were mummies of various sizes waddling along next to the wagon. Harmony didn't seem bothered by them at all. She had her eyes focused on the caramel in front of her as she struggled to pull the wagon up the sloping trail.

Hiei looked over at the mummies, "...the idiot was telling the truth, apparently..."

"Huh?" Flash looked back. She then noticed the mummies, "Holy crap! Mummies!"

"I told you!" Kuwabara yelled.

"Yeah, but you smell bad." Flash responded.

Harmony came to an abrupt halt, causing the wagon to start rolling backwards slowly. It gradually picked up speed until the wagon was rolling out of control, dragging Harmony along on the harness. Flash quickly hopped out of the sled, "Abandon ship!"

"Flash! The captain's supposed to go down with the ship!" Vlad yelled at her.

Flash waved, "Congrats on your promotion, Captain!"

Vlad growled. Hiei was desperately trying to detach his belts from the wagon. Yusuke and Kuwabara were screaming. Youko was struggling to get over to the side of the wagon so he could hop out. Terminator still hadn't left his post atop Yusuke's head. Loki was still unconscious. Harmony was struggling to stop herself from dragging along the ground. Vlad moved to jump out of the wagon. Right before Vlad was able to jump, the wagon connected with a tree, sending its passengers flying and knocking most of them unconscious.

**Hours later (My how time flies when you're unconscious!)**:

"Vlad...Vlad, this is your conscience! Wake up and give Autumn candy...Autumn deserves candy, Vlad..." A soft, spooky voice whispered next to Vlad's ear.

Vlad groaned and turned over in bed, "No she doesn't..."

"Yes she does."

"No she doesn't." Vlad's eyes snapped open, "When did I get into a bed?"

Autumn hopped away from the bed so she wouldn't be hit by Vlad's sudden movement. She smiled, "Morning, sleepy head!"

"Ugh. Not you... Where's Harmony? At least _she_ isn't an annoying little worm baby..." Vlad grumbled.

Autumn frowned, "_Somebody_ is even grumpier than usual today."

"I was stuck in a wagon rolling backwards down a hill at an alarming rate, knocked unconscious when said wagon hit a tree, and woke up to find _you_ looking at me! Oh, what a perfect day I've been having! I think I'll go dance in a meadow of flowers!" Vlad put on a mocking smile.

"There, that's better. Isn't it nice not to be grumpy?" Autumn smiled and pat Vlad on the back.

Vlad growled and moved away. He then noticed that were a few other beds nearby which had Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Loki on them. Flash was sitting in a chair in the corner petting her cat and surveying the group with an evil look which sent shivers up Vlad's spine. Hiei was leaning against the wall near Flash. Youko hopped up onto the foot of Vlad's bed and wagged his tails. Vlad rubbed his head, "Where are we?"

"The mummies took us deep into the bowels of Mummy Range." Flash answered from her corner.

"Why?" Loki asked, sitting up.

"So that you may join us for dinner, of course!" A voice said from the doorway.

The group looked over to see a mummy standing there in all its bandage-wrapped glory. The mummy made an awkward bow, "My name is Monifa. I am the leader of this mummy colony."

"How'd you learn to speak English?" Loki asked.

A girl with dirty blonde hair tipped with black and red stepped out from behind Monifa, "I taught her!"

The group stared blankly at the girl who was dressed all in black. She had one red eye and one silver eye. She was grinning. Autumn jumped up and down, "Reza! Yay, it's Reza! Cool!"

"Oh. Yeah. Go. Me." Reza joined Autumn in dancing.

Vlad sweat dropped, "What are you doing here, Reza?"

"I was looking for zombies so that I could make them my minions. But instead I found mummies. I was really close this time, though. Next time I'll find the zombies for sure!" Reza nodded determinedly.

Yusuke had woken up in time to hear that explanation, "Let me guess, this is another one of Autumn's friends?"

Reza stopped suddenly and pointed at Youko, "Oh em gee! It's Youko! Hug!"

"Yelp!" Youko yelped, jumping away as Reza dove at him to give him a hug.

Reza pouted, "Aw man..."

"You said something about dinner?" Vlad asked the mummy.

Monifa nodded, "Oh, yes. We've prepared a nice dinner for all of you."

"Food? Well, what are we waiting for? Let's eat!" Kuwabara grinned, sitting up in bed.

Monifa nodded and held the door open for everyone. Reza led them all down a torch lit tunnel. On the way they passed by some more mummies, walking around doing mummy things. Down one of the tunnels they passed by, they could see a large cavern with homes and shops carved into the rock.

"You know, we could probably make a hell of a lot of money selling the location of this place to some news station." Flash pointed out.

"Good luck getting them to believe you." Hiei stated simply.

Flash crossed her arms, "You always have to ruin my fun."

"We're only stuck in this place because of _your_ shortcut." Hiei defended.

"Well, we only had to take my shortcut because _Autumn_ decided to dye you guys pink...again." Flash retorted.

This caused everyone to glare at Autumn. Autumn held up her hands, palm out and laughed nervously, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how painful will my death be if I tell you that the dye was originally intended to be used on Flash's hair?"

"Hmm... More painful than there is a number for." Flash nodded.

Autumn continued to laugh nervously, "Alright, well just checking! It wasn't meant for Flash at all!"

"Good."

Reza spread her arms open wide, "We're heeere!"

The gang looked forward to be greeted by a large room lined with golden statues and artifacts that seemed to be of Egyptian origin. There was a large golden table whose legs were in the shape of various Egyptian gods in the center of the room with lots of food laid out upon it. There were some golden stools with cushions on them around the table. A large chandelier hanging from the ceiling provided all of the room's light.

"Spiffy..." was all that Autumn could say.

"FOOD!" Yusuke and Kuwabara yelled, completely ruining the awe of the moment. The two boys ran over to the table and sat down, immediately beginning to devour everything within sight.

Monifa stared in disgust, "Those boys have no manners at all."

"Suddenly I'm not very hungry..." Vlad stated.

Autumn rolled her eyes, "Vampires don't eat food anyway."

"...Oh yeah..." Vlad laughed and rubbed the back of his head, "I'm just so used to eating because of Hinote."

"Suure. You just don't want to admit that you're a moron." Flash shook her head, going over and sitting down.

Reza frowned, "Aw...why are you being so mean to the poor vampire?"

"Because the 'poor vampire' let our wagon crash." Loki nodded.

Vlad hissed, "Flash was the one who should've stopped the wagon."

"In case you've forgotten, _you_ were the Captain before it crashed. Therefore, it was _your_ job to save us." Autumn commented.

"Bah humbug!" Vlad crossed his arms and looked away.

Reza shrugged and walked over to the table. The others followed and soon everyone was eating and having a Jolly ole time. Doo doo doo...Hm? Oh! Oh yea, fanfic. Right. So, everyone was having a jolly ole time. At least until Kuwabara discovered a mummified finger in his soup.

"Um...waiter?" Kuwabara raised a hand to motion for one of the serving mummies.

The mummy waddled over, "Yesss?"

"There appears to be a finger in my soup."

"You found my finger! I was wondering where that went..." Another mummy ran over (as fast as a mummy can run) and snatched the finger off of Kuwabara's spoon. "Thank you so much!"

"No Problem." Kuwabara smiled before drinking some more soup.

Needless to say, this effectively killed everyone's appetite. There were grumbles among the group as they pushed the rest of their food away. Reza turned to Autumn, "So what are you guys doing out here?"

"We're going to visit my aunt and ask her to un-pinkify Vlad, Hiei, Youko, and Terminator. Autumn answered cheerily.

Reza perked up, "Hiei's here?"

"Yeah. Right over there. You didn't notice?" Autumn pointed at Hiei.

Reza looked and had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. Eventually she gave up and just laughed. "He looks so different with pink hair!"

Hiei growled and shot Autumn a 'You can't even begin to imagine how much pain you'll be in when I get my hands on you' glare. Autumn countered this with her very own 'Pook Pook' glare. Since he had nothing better to, Vlad added one of his 'I'm a mean scary vampire! Rarr!' glares to Hiei's glare. The combined force of their glares would have completely overwhelmed Autumn, had Flash not added in her trademark 'I'm God. You cannot glare at God or else you face being deconstructed on a molecular level. I can do that, you know. I'm God' glare to the fray. Vlad and Hiei fell over backwards with swirls for eyes.

"Ha! It just goes to show that God always wins." Flash crossed her arms and nodded.

Reza pouted, "But..."

"Eh heh. Shouldn't we be going? We've still got a lot of ground to cover." Autumn interrupted before Reza and Flash could get into one of their arguments over which one of them was God.

Reza looked mortified, "But you can't leave! You just got here!"

"I agree with Autumn. We should leave." Yusuke stated, eyeing the mummies nervously.

Flash shrugged and stood up, "Thanks for the hospitality but we've got a lot of work to do before the dog show. We'll visit again afterwards if we have time."

"Ok..." Reza pouted.

Monifa stood up and led the group through some more tunnels until they got to a rail track which had a couple of chained together mine carts on it. Monifa motioned for the group to sit in the carts. They did so and looked at Monifa expectantly.

"These carts will take you through the mountains and to an opening which will leave you in the state known as 'Wyoming', close to the Ghost Town of 'Bonanza'." Monifa stated.

Flash grinned, "Right where we need to be!"

"Thanks again! See ya!" Autumn waved.

Reza waved back, "Don't forget to visit!"

Monifa pushed a switch and the ground the carts were on made a whining noise before the end in front of the carts fell downwards, creating a slope which propelled the carts forwards at an alarming rate. Autumn began laughing insanely and holding her arms in the air. Yusuke and Kuwabara screamed and clutched at each other. Hiei was holding onto the cart with wide eyes as well as Vlad and Loki. Youko had part of Autumn's shirt in his mouth to keep her from flying out. Terminator was digging his claws into the cart and Flash was reading a manga. How Flash managed to do that while in an out of control speeding mine cart is unknown. She's just God like that.

The carts sped through loops, twists, turns, and anything else one may find in speedy roller coasters. All the while the carts continued to gain speed. Somewhere between the fifteenth loop and the eighth twist, Kuwabara passed out from lack of air. Yusuke had actually begun to enjoy the ride and had joined Autumn in laughing insanely. The carts came to an abrupt halt in front of a hole which had a sign over it announcing 'Now Leaving our humble Mummy Colony! We hope you come back to visit your mummies soon, and maybe bring some munnies, too!'

"Now that's just corny." Loki shook his head in disappointment.

Flash walked out of the cave and stretched her arms. "Ah, the sweet smell of being a step closer to victory..."

"Alright, lead the way to your aunt's house." Vlad said, turning to Autumn.

Autumn nodded. Flash looked around, "Dude, where's my dogsled?"

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Dream: Cough. Well, I'm not even going to try and make excuses for myself this time.

Zero: Good. I don't think anyone's going to buy them anyway.

Dream: Hey, that's a good idea! "Flash's excuses service. We make shit up so you don't have to!"

Zero: I don't think she'd make much money.

Dream: Oh, sadly Dog Shows is drawing close to its conclusion. I predict three or four more chapters and maybe an epilogue. Then I'm going to be taking a break from my humor fanfics and focusing on my plot fanfics. (I think I've said this before...somewhere...)

Zero: Leave a review and you may be the lucky recipient of this lovely...air.

Dream: But it's not just any air! It's air from..._my backyard!_ Gasp!

Zero: Don't miss your chance to win this great prize! Review now!


	11. As the dead things slowly rot

Dream: Ok, well, I've got two days until I leave for California, so I figured I may as well force myself to write an update of Dog Shows for my faithful readers!

Zero: I'm actually quite impressed. You've actually been doing things that you have to recently.

Dream: ...I've been bored.

Zero: ...I should've known that you hadn't changed your lazy ways.

Dream: Eh heh...Oh! I am pleased to announce that the winner of the air is...erm...who was it?

Zero: Technically, Winter was the first to review, but, being God, she obviously does not need air. The next review was from sapphire-glass, who knows your name.

Dream: Geh! How is that possible? Obviously, this reviewer is magical and thus _deserves_ the air!

Zero: Actually, I think you've told...

Dream: Air for the magical one!

Zero: Oh, never mind.

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_Last Time_:

Flash walked out of the cave and stretched her arms. "Ah, the sweet smell of being a step closer to victory..."

"Alright, lead the way to your aunt's house." Vlad said, turning to Autumn.

Autumn nodded. Flash looked around, "Dude, where's my dogsled?"

_Now_:

**Tune in next time to...'As the dead things slowly rot'**:

"When did you last see it?" Loki asked.

Flash thought for a moment, "The mummies carried it into their colony along with you guys...Gah! Those mummies stole my dogsled!"

"But what would mummies want with a dog sled?" Yusuke questioned, triggering...yup. You guessed it! A 'meanwhile' location change thing!

**Doo**** doo doo!**:

Reza was standing in the dog sled as it was being pulled by a mummy running on all four legs. Reza was laughing and yelling 'mush'. Some other mummies were watching and cheering. Suddenly, the mummy pulling the sled twitched and fell apart. The crowd quieted. Reza looked down and sighed, "Aw man..."

**Back to the others**:

Flash's eye was twitching. She turned around and started storming back toward the cave, "Those thieving little...just wait until I get my hands on them...!"

"Gah! Flash, stop!" Vlad grabbed Flash before she could get to the cave. She turned to glare at him. He laughed nervously, "We should worry about the sled later. Right now, the important thing is to find Autumn's aunt and get us back to normal in time for the dog show."

"..._then_ can I kick some mummy ass?" Flash asked.

Vlad shrugged, "Yeah, sure."

"Woohoo! Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go visit Ellema!" Flash grinned and started walking in the direction of the town. The others followed quickly after. Soon, they had arrived at a small fenced in cemetery.

Kuwabara shivered and rubbed his arms, "Guys...! The tickle feeling...! I think...there are ghosts nearby!"

"Kuwabara?" Loki asked with narrowed eyes.

Kuwabara looked at him while still rubbing his arms, "Yeah...?"

"Shut up."

Kuwabara looked down in shame, "...okay..."

"Hey, cool! I can see a town from here! Looks deserted..." Yusuke stated, shielding his eyes from the sun as he stood upon a tombstone in order to get a better view of the surrounding areas.

Autumn 'gah'ed, "GAH! Yusuke, you idiot, what are you doing! Do you _want_ to invoke the wrath of the deceased?"

Yusuke rolled his eyes, "Pfft! They're _dead_! What can they possibly do to me?"

"Well, for one thing, we can plague your mind with horrible repeating images of your death..."

"Oh...well, that doesn't sound very pleasant..." Yusuke stated thoughtfully.

"It isn't."

Yusuke blinked a few times, before whirling around to see who had been speaking to him. Of course, having been standing on a tombstone, this caused him to topple over onto the ground... or rather, onto Hiei. Now, anyone who's ever seen Hiei angry knows that invoking the wrath of a spirit is a far more desirable fate. Poor Yusuke had escaped one evil, only to be confronted with another.

"Eh heh heh...Nice fire demon...good fire demon...You wouldn't hurt your good ole pal, Yusuke, would you?" Yusuke asked, backing away nervously from Hiei.

Hiei's eyes were glowing red with fury. Flames appeared around him, making his body appear to be glowing as well. (Note to self: DBZ Hiei blooper.) Yusuke let out a yelp of fright before starting to run around the cemetery in terror while being chased by the flaming Hiei. The others, and the orb that was floating over the tombstone, sweat dropped.

Vlad looked at the orb, "So...I'm assuming _that_ is revenge enough for you and you'll be letting us go now?"

"Hm...nope."

"Nope...?" Autumn pressed.

The orb erm...moved up and down in a nod... "I won't let you go until you complete...my challenge..."

"Challenge?" Flash narrowed her eyes.

A random guy in a suit and carrying a microphone appeared out of nowhere. He cleared his throat before speaking in an announcer's voice, "The Spirit's Challenge! A series of perilous tasks which will try your sanity and surely pit best friend against best friend that serve no purpose other than to amuse the spirit! _But!_ Anyone who survives the challenge will be rewarded with a _marvelous_ gift!"

"Ooooooh..." Autumn and Flash smiled, with starry eyes.

**Flash's imagination**:

"Congratulations! Here's your marvelous prize!" The announcer announced, handing Flash a key.

Flash stared at it, "What's this...?"

"It's the key to open...that door!" The announcer pointed at a random door.

Flash blinked before walking over and opening the door. Money, gold, and jewels poured out of the doorway on top of her. She surfaced with a jeweled golden crown on her head and a huge grin on her face.

**Autumn's imagination**:

"Congratulations! Here's you marvelous prize!" The announcer announced, handing Autumn a small penguin toy.

Autumn took the toy and squeezed it. It squeaked. Her eyes lit up with elation and she hugged it, "I shall name it Squeaky and love it forever!"

The announcer then handed her a small bottle of water with a cross on it, "And here's some holy water from our sponsors in Italy..."

"Ooooh...YAY!" Autumn took the holy water and dumped it on Squeaky. She then held him out for the world to see with an anime victory pose accompanied by an anime victory background, "Check it, yo! Now Squeaky can ward off _vampires!_" (Don't own, got it from 'Pope for a day' an awesome animation on newgrounds)

**Back to reality**:

"_We'll do it!_" both girls yelled at the same time.

Loki and Vlad exchanged worried glances, as if to say 'Oh shit...what have those two gotten us into _this_ time and who's going to be paying the hospital bills...?'

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Dream: I'm so sorry that it's so disgustingly short! I wound up procrastinating until now and my plane leaves at 11:30AM and...yeah...

Zero: Yes, yes, we can all see that Dream's sorry...but let's not keep that from stopping the pitch forking...

Dream: Oh! I have a poll thingy for everyone today! Glee!

Zero: ...a poll?

Dream: Uh huh! This is it:

Put these characters in order of who you would most likely date (if they were real, of course). If you don't know who a character is, then don't include them in the list.

**Males** (for the girls, guys who prefer guys, or people who just feel like using the males list):

Dariken

Viern

Hinote

Vladimir

Loki

Yamihonoo

Mr. Norman Smith (Random Neighbor Man)

Zero

**Females** (for the guys, girls who prefer girls, or people who just feel like using the females list):

Autumn

Nuala

Flash

Okagehime

Harmony

Pip

Kumo

Reza

Lioness

Thorn

Megumi


	12. Remember the Caravanamo

Dream: OMIGOSH—I'm using that phrase too much today—ANUPDATENOWAYWTF1!thirty-seven!

Zero: Bloody hell! Use some punctuation! Remember the Caravanamo!

Dream: But…I'm so excited. O I haven't updated in forever. And…I still haven't finished that story that was supposed to be one chapter long. XD That's sad. How pathetic I am.

Zero: As true as that may be, it still doesn't excuse you from neglecting your space bar.

Dream: Fine. Space . Happy?

Zero: Indeed.

Dream: Ok, well I'm not at home right now and once I get home I need to finish photoshoppin' something so I won't get the chance to post the results of that poll. Anyway…CHAPTA TIUHM. -- never let me say this again.

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_Last Time_:

"_We'll do it!_" both girls yelled at the same time.

Loki and Vlad exchanged worried glances, as if to say 'Oh shit...what have those two gotten us into _this_ time and who's going to be paying the hospital bills...?'

_Now_:

**Remember the Caravanamo**:

"Ok Mr. Glowing Dookie Ball, what's the challenge?" Autumn asked, her hand offered palm up to the orb in a strange useless gesture.

"The challenge is…TO FIGURE OUT THE CHALLENGE! MUAHAHAHAHA-cough wheeze-HAHAHAHAHA! … HA!" And with that the orb vanished.

Flash growled. "You cannot do this to me! For I am God and you are forbidden to aggravate God and therefore you cannot do this to me for I am God and cannot be aggravated due to my Godly godliness that prevents me from being aggravated! …FOR I AM GOD."

"Oooook…Calm down there Flash; it's going to be ok. No need to go all crazy repetitive on us…" Autumn tried to calm her down.

Vlad rolled his eyes. "This is stupid. Let's just leave."

"But we can't leave, you fool." Hiei responded.

Vlad arched an eyebrow. "And why not…?"

"Because that thing won't let us leave without doing this challenge thing." After a moment's thought, he added, "Besides, there are no doors."

"We're outside, Hiei. I thought you'd be smart enough to realize that doors are not necessary **when there are no walls**!" Vlad stretched out his arms to indicate the vast expanse of wall-less nature-y things. (and a monkey with pompoms…)

"O rly?" Hiei asked, his body changing to that of a white owl.

"Ya rly," responded Vlad, his body becoming that of a grey owl with some brown.

"Then what's…" Hiei became a statue of a scantily clad armless woman. "…this!"

Vlad became a giant smoldering pile of dog poo. "A psychic anomaly that causes rapid shifts in form due to some imbalance between the amount of stupidity and intelligence in the world today which is almost always foreshadowed by the appearance of a RUMP (Random Unidentified Monkey with Pompoms)."

"No, idiot, _this._" Hiei became Hiei again and pointed to his left. Everyone looked to see…a random door! GASP. Gaze in wonder at the splendor of the door. Oh mighty door, we salute thy splendid door-y-ness! I beseech thee, tell me the wonders that only one such as yourself might know!

"Alright. That's the last time we let Autumn narrate." Kurama said as he suddenly became Kurama again.

"…" Flash stared at Kurama. "What the hell? You're ruining my plans! Change back!"

Kurama laughed. "Not a chance. I'm free!"

"And pink!" Yusuke, fed up with not having had any lines in the chapter as of yet, pointed out happily.

"Wait, aren't you supposed to have been attacked by Hiei? And wasn't Hiei in the process of attacking you? I don't see the logic in any of this chapter thus far. It has created many questions about the plot advancement. I don't get it. The mechanisms of this malfunctioning chapter completely elude me." Kuwabara shook his head. When he looked up he was faced with the flabbergasted faces of all of his companions. "Hwut?"

Autumn screeched and pointed. "He's possessed by the grammatically correct spirit of Mr. Caravana!"

"Mr. Caravana's not dead." Vlad narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Autumn. She whistled and dug her toe into the dirt. "Autumn, what have I told you about killing the good teachers in the world?"

"But…he gave Briana a better grade than me on our creative writing things AGAIN! I had no choice! He provoked me. It's all his fault. I blame you!" Autumn accused the innocent shrub at her feet. It looked at her with pain evident in its eyes before picking up its roots and running away sobbing.

Flash watched the chaos with one eyebrow twitching. Finally she used her best deep manly God voice to silence them. "SILENCE. God commands all of you to stfu and listen to what she has to say! Obviously one of us has been replaced with a mutant android space oyster from outer space and we need to figure out who it is before we all get eaten by gentlemanly voles."

"I know!" All eyes turned to Autumn as she relayed her plan. "All we have to do is open the door and all the secrets of the universe will be revealed to us."

All eyes turned to…THE DOOR. GASP. Gaze in wonder at the splendor of the door. Oh mighty door, we salute thy splendid door-y-ness! I beseech thee—"Yeah, yeah, we got all that the last time you started blabbering like a blabbering fool." Hiei interrupted me, the narrator, using the Godly powers he stole from Flash.

"So _that's_ where my Godly powers have been going…" Flash rubbed her chin thoughtfully before hitting Hiei with a frozen turkey. "Gimme my powers fool!"

The impact of the turkey on Hiei's head caused a strange reaction to take place. First, Hiei turned plaid. Next, he inflated to eight times normal Hiei size (he was taller than Kuwabara, omg!). Finally, he exploded into a flurry of confetti. Just as Autumn was about to throw her arms in the air and scream 'Shiny!' in happiness, the confetti then formed a cloud over the cemetery. Three evilly slanted red eyes appeared in the cloud along with a mouth that contained little evil fangs. The cloud took on a constipated look for a moment before finally a tuft of spiky black hair with a white starburst popped out of the top of the cloud.

"Oh my Me!" Flash exclaimed as she stared up.

"Hiei's a cloud, yo!" Autumn added.

Yusuke realized the painful results this situation might produce. Just as he was about to let out a loud string of curses, his fears were validated. Hiei began raining upon them. But this was no ordinary rain, oh no. It was _fire_ in raindrop form. All of the shrubs and blades of grass in the cemetery screeched and ran away. Yusuke attempted to do the same, but tripped over a speck of dirt and fell flat on his face.

Flash, meanwhile, was laughing insanely and holding her arms out to the sky like someone seeing rain for the first time after a long drought. "**_Fire_**!"

"Flash, you fool, move out of the way!" Loki yelled as he cowered in his house made of straw.

Yusuke and Kuwabara walked over to Loki's house and knocked on the makeshift door. Kuwabara decided to speak when there was no answer, "May we come in out of the fire?"

"Not a chance. Get your own house." Loki responded.

Hiei's now manly voice boomed from the sky, "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll burn your house down! I can do that, you know. I'm an evil fiery cloud."

Loki screamed in terror as fire plummeted toward his house. Since he had installed windows, the house came crashing down in a heaping pile of useless trash even before the fire got close enough to catch it on fire. Loki dug his way out of the rubbish and stood next to Yusuke and Kuwabara as they watched the ex-house catch on fire. A firedrop fell on Yusuke's sleeve and he screamed and ran in circles until Loki yelled at him the three S's of fire safety: "STOP SUMO AND SPINACH!"

Kuwabara blinked. "I do believe what you're thinking of is 'Stop drop and roll'."

Yusuke's eyes were tearing when he finally stopped to catch his breath. All of the running in circles had caused the flames to grow larger; they were now engulfing most of his upper body. A shadow fell over the poor flaming boy. He looked up to see…a sumo wrestler (and a particularly large on at that D)! Yusuke's face paled as the sumo took a sumo fight stance. The defective detective released that the hands on knees stance he'd taken to catch his breath closely resembled the sumo's own stance. Apparently all hell was about to break lose. "Oh sh—"

Before Yusuke could finish his obscene word the sumo charged at him. The poor outmatched boy was caught in the sumo's grip as the lummox continued to charge. The charge ended only once the sumo had slammed Yusuke into the invisible walls surrounding the cemetery. The sumo then walked over to Flash who gave him a twenty dollar bill with a strange device attached to it. They bowed to each other before the sumo walked away. Flash took out a tiny remote and pressed a small red button which activated the device. This caused the bill to jump out of the sumo's wallet and come hopping back to Flash saying 'Mommy mommy!' in a small childish voice.

Loki walked over and poked Yusuke. He was on the ground bruised, beaten, and twitching. Oh, and he was still on fire. Kuwabara turned to Loki. "What was the third thing that you said for Yusuke to do?"

"Ah! Spinach!" Loki reached through a tear in the time space continuum into some disgustingly old cartoon and pulled out a can of spinach! The tear then closed before an angry little guy could jump through and attack. Loki lifted Yusuke to feed him the disgusting veggie.

Instantly Yusuke was revitalized. He stood up laughing and like magic all of his bruises healed and the fire went out. He then struck some poses to show off his spiffy new muscles. Vlad groaned. "Stop showing off and get on with it already!"

"Say, when are you going to change back?" Kuwabara asked.

If giant piles of poo had eyes, Vlad's would have blinked. "What are you talking about; I already have!"

"You've always been a giant pile of poo?" questioned Loki.

"Well _duh_. Where did you think that horrendous smell came from?" Vlad retorted.

Loki directed his gaze to Kuwabara who looked at him with a 'hwut?' evident in his eyes. Loki shook his head. Yusuke walked over to a house made of sticks and knocked on the door. "Yo Kurama, let us in! It's raining fire out here."

"I'm sorry Yusuke, but if I let you in Hiei will destroy my house." Kurama responded.

"Actually I'm going to do it anyway." Hiei pointed out.

Kurama was flabbergasted. "But we're friends!"

"Yeah but…I don't like you."

"But but…Hiei…! _I loved you!_ How could you betray me like this?" Kurama ran from his house sobbing and was never seen again…until he came back with a box of tissues dressed all in black with black-died hair and emo glasses. O

"Oh my Me! You made Kurama emo! Shame on you!" Flash yelled while still dancing in the fire. God is good at multitasking.

"My life…is sad." Kurama sighed melodramatically.

Hiei rolled his eyes. There was a 'poot' sound as a big wad of fire dropped on Kurama's house.

Kurama let out a strangled cry of pain. "Oh woe is me! I must write a sad poem about my poor house."

"What the hell?" Yusuke asked as he and Loki swam over.

Kurama cleared his throat. "Hark! The house of Abe Lincoln's birth…has burned. Not a thing is left but a black mark. It reminds me of Uncle Larry's large girth. Alas! Poor Uncle Larry! The tears run down my face in rivers. I am sad."

Suddenly a giant frog came and ate the emo Kurama. The frog sat up on its hind feet and beat its chest. "Emo yummy!" it roared.

"Shall we try the next house?" Kuwabara asked. Loki and Yusuke nodded. The three ventured toward the brick house built by Autumn. As they were walking an electric fence appeared and they all died. What a shame.

"Well damn, I died." Loki snapped his fingers in disappointment.

Yusuke cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, "Hey Autumn open the door!"

Moments upon moments of silence passed. Loki rolled his eyes. "What could she possibly be doing that she can't hear Yusuke hollering?"

Inside the house, Autumn literally had her forehead glued to the TV and drool hanging from her open mouth. The TV volume was on the maximum and it blasted its message at the poor girl: "I love you; you love me!"

Back outside, Yusuke stumbled upon a revelation. It stood up and growled at Yusuke in a Brooklyn Italian accent. "'Ey! Watch whea you goin!"

"Oh sorry," apologized the detective. He then had a thought. It tasted like chicken.

"Hey wait a minute…" Kuwabara caught a firedrop in his hand. "This doesn't hurt at all!"

"But what about me catching on fire? And my burning flesh?" Yusuke asked.

Loki laughed maniacally. "Yes! It was I! I am the one who did all of this! I burned your flesh!"

"No!" Yusuke gasped.

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Ye—alright shut up and ask me who I am."

"Oh, ok. Who are you?"

"I am Hiei's father!" Loki pulled down an imaginary zipper to reveal…himself!

Yusuke and Kuwabara gasped. Hiei shook his head in denial. "It can't be!"

"Oh but it is." Loki put a hand on his son's shoulder. "You see my boy. When I was in college I liked to party a lot. One night I got so drunk that I hooked up with a huge thug named Butch. I don't remember what happened that night. All I remember is waking up with a fifteen-thousand pound baby crushing my esophagus the next morning. I did what any sensible man would do; I sent the baby to Jenny Craig. Years of weight loss programs later that baby became a supermodel for _HurrWeIsAnorexic_ Magazine. But after developing a horrible food addiction that plummeted him into a life of desperate cravings and begging on street corners he finally saw the light—the light of an exploding apartment building—and knew what he had to do; he had to follow his dream of becoming a professional ballerina! That baby was you, my son. I'm…so…proud…"

Yusuke and Kuwabara joined Loki in crying at the sadness. Hiei just stood there, but before he could respond he was tackled and strangled by Flash. "Give.Me.Back.My.Fire!"

"Flash! You're going to kill him!" protested the talking poo.

"I'll save you, Hiei!"

All eyes turned to the door of Autumn's house. Flash continued strangling Hiei while gazing in wonder (again, Godly multitasking). Autumn was there…in a purple dinosaur costume with a little cape. "I am here to save the world with love and friendliness! Quick, you two funny looking guys kiss and everything will be well in the world!"

Yusuke and Kuwabara shrugged at being given permission to do something they'd always wanted to do. Kuwabara wrapped his arms around Yusuke and—the Koala bear is a cuddly little creature that likes to eat Eucalyptus leaves. Eucalyptus leaves have sometimes been known to fight back against the Koala using nuclear weapons sold to them by the United States.

"_Excuse me?_ There is no way I'm letting the US take credit for what _I_ did." Flash appeared, her arms crossed.

"Very Melon!" yelled Autumn as she danced around.

Loki called a timeout. "Wait! We've forgotten something very important!"

"The search for my sanity?" Autumn asked hopefully.

"You never had any." Loki waved a hand dismissively.

Kuwabara pointed at Hiei. "Hiei's the oyster!"

"DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN!" The mutant android space oyster from outer space said for dramatic effect.

Flash donned the robes of a priest. "There is only one way to find the truth…Throw him in a cage with pancakes! If he gets eaten then he is innocent. However, if he does not then he is an oyster."

"Pancakes! Pancakes!" an angry mob cheered as they prepped Hiei for his punishment. Actually, let's just skip the prepping and get straight to the punishment.

"AAAAAAAARGH! IT BURNS!" Hiei screamed as he clawed at the floor, desperately trying to pull himself from the Kuwabara-in-a-bikini shaped pancake.

Autumn looked at Flash. "You know what? Yusuke and Kuwabara kissing didn't fix things. I think that Kuwabara needs to kiss something so powerful, so extremely awesome, that it's at the point of _**God**liness!_ Do you know something like that?"

Flash looked over her shoulder at her ass (hahahaha kiss my ass, get it? D hahahaha I killed the joke. Hahha what a loser). She then cringed and said, "I don't want to put that kind of torture on anything."

Kurama fell from the sky in front of the girls. Apparently his parachute had not opened and it had caused him to make a three-foot deep indentation in the ground. He stood up and snapped all of his bones back into place. "Woo boy that felt good."

Flash smirked and looked at Kuwabara. "You know, Kuwabara, if you kiss Kurama the world will be saved…"

Autumn gasped. "No! Not Kurama!"

Kuwabara started running through a field of brightly colored flowers towards Kurama in slow motion as corny love music played in the background. Kurama was on the other side trying to take off his failed parachute. The latches were stuck. Autumn yelled 'noooooo' in deep slow motion voice and began running for the one thing which could save Kurama from a fate worse than death: the door. It was a race against the clock. Who would get to their destination first? It was Kuwabara at the turn, but Autumn was catching up. They were neck and neck but—oh! It would be Fat Ole' Uncle Larry up from his couch to get a beer from the fridge. He turned the knob and opened the door in one motion.

And the world stopped for a moment. Then screaming souls poured out of the doorway and engulfed Uncle Larry. Explosions started happening randomly around the world. The impossible became possible; the Eiffel Tower sang opera, pigs started to fly, and George W. learned how to speak correctly! Oh my Flash, this is terrible! What's going on! I can't feel my spleen! Arrrrrrgh

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dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot

dot dot dot dot

dot dot

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dot

dot

dot

dot

dot

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And somehow, in spite of it all, Abraham Lincoln won the Dog Show.

**THE END.**

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Dream: Ok, so obviously this was my April Fool's chapter.

Zero: Oh, _obviously_.

Dream: I apologize in advance if I don't get a new chapter up (which I most likely won't). Project after project… Sigh. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little…thing. I sure enjoyed writing it. XD

Zero: Oh, and Dream would like to say that she owns none of the random things that appeared in this chapter. She only owns Autumn, "Remember the Caravanamo", the orb, the challenge, the door, and…myself.

Dream: Also, I was wondering. If I were to make a community on livejournal for all things fanfic, how many people would be interested in joining (or interested in watching the community itself if you don't have a livejournal account)? Nothing's definite yet, I'm just wondering. Anyway, Happy April Fool's Day.


	13. But mommy

Dream: Alright, people! I'm finally going to try and make myself finish this fanfic! Yayz? Yayz. Anyway, I just reread the joke chapter and now I'm wondering about my mental state, I really am. But it was freakin' hilarious. XD

Oh, here are the poll results!

**Poll:** Put these characters in order of who you would most likely date (if they were real, of course).

Note: Only one person did the female list so the results aren't conclusive and, thus, are not included.

Everyone's favorite grumpy dragon Zero was the favorite among those who participated. Next was Vlad and Loki was third.

It's too bad Zero's too busy being missing to make a comment about his popularity…

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_Last Time_:

"_We'll do it!_" both girls yelled at the same time.

Loki and Vlad exchanged worried glances, as if to say 'Oh shit...what have those two gotten us into _this_ time and who's going to be paying the hospital bills...?'

_Now_:

**But mommy, there are monsters in my closet...and they're dancing!**:

"So, umm…what's the challenge?" Autumn asked the ghost after a moment of eagerly waiting for something spectacular to happen.

"The what?" questioned the orb.

Autumn made frantic hand motions. "The challenge!"

"Autumn, shh!" Vlad attempted to quiet the girl.

"You said, and I quote, 'I won't let you go until you complete...my challenge...' just like that." Autumn crossed her arms and nodded.

The orb thought for a moment. "Oh yes, the challenge. Let's see…" With that the orb somehow managed to pull out a big book titled _Ghostly Challenges for Dummies_ and leafed through the pages…somehow. Finally it found something satisfactory. "Ah! Here! Your challenge will be to face your greatest fears!"

"Oh nice going, Autumn! Way to remind the ghost about our punishment." Yusuke narrowed his eyes at the girl.

Flash rolled her eyes. "If she hadn't reminded it, I would have."

"But _why_?" asked Loki.

Autumn and Flash looked at Loki as if he was the stupidest thing alive, a stare that is usually reserved for Kuwabara. "We want the prize, **_duh_**," the girls said at the same time.

The orb put away the book and took out a plastic girly fairy wand with a shiny star and ribbons on the end. It waved it around. And then the world was gone. Kurama looked around at the expanse of black in wonder. _Where am I?__Wait…HANDS! I'm not a fox anymore!_

Kurama's glee was cut short by the world suddenly becoming full of color. He was in his room. But it was all wrong. One of his eyes started twitching as he looked around. "Bu…Bu…**_Bunnies_**!"

Dramatic horror music played as Kurama was looked at from various zoomed in angles with his hands on his head screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Somewhere there was the scratch of a record player being turned on. The old record had the voices of young children singing the phrase 'I love you; you love me…' over and over. Kurama tried to find a place to sit down among all the miscellaneous bunny paraphernalia. That's when he noticed that his rug had a bunny pattern. He then tried to find a chair to hop onto, but they were all bunny shaped. The worst thing was the smile. The same creepy smile was on every bunny in the room. Kurama started to whimper.

"Hey Kurama, how's it going?" Hinote asked, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

Kurama stared at him. "Are bunnies your worst fear, too?"

"Bunnies?" Hinote laughed. "No, that's lame. You're a loser. See ya! Lol…bunnies…"

Hinote then vanished. Kurama blinked and then stared at his feet in shame at the lameness of his fear.

Autumn was walking around in the black void. Suddenly she saw a blueberry on the ground at her feet. "Hay a blueberry!" Autumn pointed at it. She looked around before lifting her foot to squish it. Suddenly spikes grew out of the blueberry. She fell back in surprise and stared at it. Around her, the black void was dissolving. Slowly _it_ came into view. (Remember folks, whatever _it_ is, you can find it on Flash-bay!)

She was in a city. Armies of blueberries were marching around in the streets. A giant billboard on top of the tallest building sported a picture of a blueberry in a dictator's hat with a mustache. Next to it in bold letters was the word 'OBEY'. Autumn's mouth dropped open.

"Wow, this is neat!" Hinote exclaimed.

Autumn stared at him blankly for a moment, a very short moment, before standing up suddenly and putting one hand on her hip and using the other to indicate the blueberries. "_Neat!_ You call blueberries taking over the world neat? This is the horrible fate I've been fighting against for so long! How can it be neat?"

"This is your greatest fear?" questioned Hinote. At Autumn's nod, he sighed. "This isn't a good fear either. Oh well, I'll keep looking."

Autumn looked around for Hinote after he disappeared. "What the…? Where'd you go?"

"Halt, human! What are you doing breaking curfew?" asked a blueberry sergeant.

Autumn squeaked and ran, blueberries in squishy pursuit.

Flash was sitting in her room playing a video game. Suddenly she felt her godly powers draining. "Uh-oh, time to recharge mah godly batteries," stated Flash, getting up and going down to the kitchen. She was whistling a tune as she opened one cupboard to take out a mug and another to get the coffee. She paused with her hand in the cupboard and blinked. It was empty. "Coffee…not here…?"

Now Flash was frantic. She started running around tearing open all the cupboards and drawers to look for the coffee. There was not a bean to be found. Finally, after tearing apart the kitchen, she slumped to the ground and hugged her knees to her chest. She started rocking back and forth with a crazed expression on her face and chanting the word 'coffee'.

"Hiya, Flash!" Hinote popped out of nowhere. "What's _your_ greatest fear?"

"Coffee…coffee…coffee…coffee…" chanted the girl.

Hinote tilted his head to the side. "But I thought you loved coffee?"

"Coff…eeeeeeeeeee…?" The girl's head turned to the head in a way that Hinote was sure was impossible.

Afraid of the look in Flash's eyes, he began to back away. "Ok…well…I'll be leaving now…"

"COFFEE!" Flash screeched in an ungodly voice as she jumped up and lunged at the disappearing Hinote.

"BWAA!" Hinote screamed, even as he appeared in a new place.

Hiei stared at him. Before he got the chance to ask what the hell Hinote was doing there, Loki, Yusuke, and Kuwabara appeared. They all stared at each other. Yusuke laughed. "I guess we must all have the same fear, huh?"

Hinote was going to respond when a booming voice shook their surroundings. "OBEY ME!"

The five boys looked to the source of the voice. It was a gigantic Flash with flames in the background. The boys cowered in fear. The godly one boomed more commands. "GIVE ME COFFEE. GIVE ME MONEY. OBEY. OBEY!"

Hinote frowned. "I don't like this fear anymore. See ya!"

And with that he was gone. The others looked at each other before starting to wish themselves out of their fear. It wasn't working. Flash got closer and closer…

"OBEY! OBEY"

Hinote was in a new place. It was completely dark. He looked around sadly for any of his other friends. No one was there. He sighed and squatted down, hugging his knees with one hand and drawing circles on the ground with the pointer finger of his other.

"What's wrong with you?" asked Hinote's demon half, Vlad, walking up to stand in front of him.

Hinote stood quickly. "Are you my greatest fear?"

"No…" Vlad raised an eyebrow.

"Oh…" Hinote sank back into his previous position. "I can't find my greatest fear…Everyone else has one but me!"

"Your greatest fear is not having a greatest fear," Vlad responded.

Hinote sighed again and sobbed. "I don't have a greatest fear…this is terrible…"

Vlad groaned and took out a marker and plain T-shirt. He wrote on it 'Not having a greatest fear' and then put it on. He cleared his throat. Hinote looked and jumped up in excitement.

"Oh my Flash! My greatest fear must be not having a greatest fear! And here you are! I am facing you, my greatest fear!"

There was clapping and cheering. The cemetery returned along with all of his friends. Kurama was once again in his fox form and Hinote was once again in Vlad's form. The announcer was clapping and cheering. There were other random clapping people around and confetti was in the air. Everyone was looking around in bewilderment.

"Congratulations Hinote! For successfully facing your fear, you've won the prize!" announced the announcer.

A large man—complete with beard stubble and thick glasses—in a bikini walked up and handed Vlad a rock. Autumn pouted. "No fair! I want a rock!"

Flash, who was still suffering the effects of her fear, stared at the strange floating coffee cup. She started drooling and her pupils became coffee cup shaped. She walked up to the coffee cup and held it. The others stared at her in wonder as she held the orb.

"Hey…what are you doing?" asked the orb.

Flash lifted the orb and began to drink it. When she was done she set the empty glass ball back in the air and wiped her mouth. "Ah! Extra-extra-extra caffeinated! My favorite!"

Autumn pointed at a scarecrow hopping towards them. "Hay it's my aunt!"

Everyone turned to look. The scarecrow stopped. It was wearing a plaid dress with straw popping out the sleeve ends. Its head was a jack-o-lantern with an oddly carved face and a happy worm popping out one of the eyes. Its voice seemed to echo in the pumpkin's hollow head. It was a sweet voice that would sometimes grow deep and scary. "Why hello there, sweet TASTY Autumn dearest! What brings you and your SQUISHY friends to my neck of the DEADLY woods?"

"Your aunt's a scarecrow?" Loki asked.

Autumn and Ellema laughed. Autumn waved a hand. "No, silly! My aunt's not a scarecrow! That would be weird! My aunt's the worm!"

"And that _isn't_ weird?" Hiei muttered under his breath.

"…" Vlad stared blankly. Suddenly he exploded (I feel that I need to clarify that I don't mean that literally since in my stories, characters literally exploding is actually a normal occurrence…) "You mean you brought us all this way to see a worm? How is she going to help us if she has no arms? ARMS! Arms are necessary to do things!"

"Foolish FLAMMABLE creature! That is why I have this scarecrow MINION to make my potions and things. She has POINTY arms…" Ellema answered.

"But she doesn't have hands," Loki protested.

Ellema turned to the boy. "But she _does_ have arms. She can do anything EVIL."

Yusuke turned to Autumn to ask the question on everyone's mind: "Are you serious?"

"I heart you Aunt Ellema!" Autumn squealed in delight.

Ellema grinned a wormy grin. "I heart you too Autumn MORSEL!"

"Hey there, Ellema. Listen, we need a potion to make our friends not pink…" Flash pointed her thumb at Hiei, Vlad, Youko, and Terminator.

"You're in UNFORTUNATE luck! I have just such a potion back at my house OF DEATH! Come with me, DELICIOUS children!" Ellema's scarecrow turned and began to hop away. Flash and Autumn started following happily. The others exchanged worried glances before following as well, certain that they were walking towards their doom…

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Dream: Well, it's short, I know. But I didn't feel like writing anymore tonight and I figured you readers would prefer a short chapter now rather than waiting for months without knowing whether I was still going to continue this, ne?


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